Pretty good thread on drunken injuries on TOS.

[Monster]

http://iowa.rivals.com/showmsg.asp?fid=811&tid=133639270&mid=133639270&sid=940&style=2

44Dacuse44 had a good one. My entry:

Didn't happen to me, but 20 years ago I went to Ames to visit my cousin who was a freshman at ISU. Went to some bonfire thing pretty late, we were all hammered, of course. Some dude who lived next door from my cousin passed out with his boot in the fire. The thing was smoking something fierce, and the burnt rubber smell was pretty bad. I suggested we might pull him away from the fire, but my cousin insisted he would see the humor of us leaving him there. From what I remember, dude had to leave school that semester for skin graft surgery.

I've been hammered, but never so hammered I wouldn't know my foot was on fire.

[danish_hawkeye]

I don't have enough time to go through all the stories..

[Judge Kemp]

My entry (for a classmate) would be for our "Senior Party" Bonfire in Highschool. They hada bunch of trees, brush etc into a gigantic pile for the fire and before everyone got out there were getting it going. This guy who started the partying a bit early took 5 gallons of gasoline and doused the whole pile. After taking the time to douse the pile, he then lit it. With a lighter.

The explosion sent him to the hospital in an ambulance with third degree burns covering most of his body. He barely survived and had just a multitude of surgeries to recover. I believe he missed the rest of the year but may have been able to come back for graduation--I don't remember if he even made that.

[Pinehawk]

Back in college I was drinking on the front porch with some friends. One of the guys told us about some trick where you could put lighter fluid on your hand, light it, and it would burn off quickly without injuring you. At the time, I wasn't really putting it together just how bad of an idea this was.

So, he gets out some lighter fluid and absolutely douses his hand. He lights it and his hand goes up in flames. For a second he's fine. Then, he started flapping his hand around and beating it on his leg to try to put it out. Meanwhile the porch floor starts on fire from the excess lighter fluid.

We stomp that out while he runs inside and puts his hand under the kitchen faucet. We're all standing around at that point taking in what we just saw when we hear a rhythmic banging. I look in the house and he's got his hand under the faucet while banging his head on the cabinets over the sink.

I go in and look at his hand and the skin is coming off. So, I took him to the hospital where he had to get it debrided a couple of times. It was bandaged for a couple of weeks. He told the hospital and his parents that he had a 'grilling accident'.

[Jimmie Dimmick]

Don't usually get injured being drunk, as I tend to find a comfy spot and sit there till I pass out. The one time I did, I was walking back from the bars in IC to my apartment, and cut through Ralston Creek, where the balconies face each other, and a guy on a balcony threw a bottle at me and just missed me. I told him to try it again, so he did, and I caught it and threw it back at him, hitting the side of the building right by his head. This pissed him off, and he threw another at me, and I caught that one, but it broke in my hand. I remember sitting at home digging glass out of my hand when I got home, then waking up in bed the next morning with a huge blood stain on my sheets where my hand was.

I went to a wedding and my best friend and his wife got the room right next door to ours at the hotel. We stayed up pretty late drinking the night of the wedding, and at about 8am the next morning, we hear a huge "Friday the 13th" type of scream from the next room. I run over and hear arguing in the room, and so I pound on the door to let me in. My friend answers the door, covered in blood. When I say covered, I mean he was wearing a white t-shirt that was now completely red. After getting the initial "WTF" out of my mouth, I enter the room to find his wife trying to clean what looks to be a murder scene in the bathroom. Blood all over the walls, on the floor, splatter marks in the tub. When I turn the corner I see the bed, that also looks like someone's been stabbed 187 times in it. One side of the bed is completely soaked with blood.

Come to find out that my friend had taken a shower when he got back, drunk as hell. Slipped on the wet bathroom floor, and hit his head on the counter, opening a gaping cut in his forehead. He stumbled around the bathroom for a minute before passing out(wife was passed out during all of this). He finally woke up, crawled into bed and went to sleep, still squirting blood all over.

The screaming was from when his wife woke up that morning, and went into the bathroom. We took him to the ER, but the Dr. said it was too long after the injury to sew him up, so they bandaged the heck out of it and sent him on his way.

[TallGrass]

Head wounds always look bad. Tiny little cut will bleed like a mofo.

[Jimmie Dimmick]

Head wounds always look bad. Tiny little cut will bleed like a mofo.

That's what the doc said. I'd never seen so much blood in my life.

[ISUFan98]

Head wounds always look bad. Tiny little cut will bleed like a mofo.

Truth.

[brantshawks]

The thing I hurt the most when drunk was my pride.


Luckily there wasn't much left towards the end of college.

[danish_hawkeye]

Head wounds always look bad. Tiny little cut will bleed like a mofo.

THIS!!!

[boneshawk]

The thing I hurt the most when drunk was my pride.

QFMFT

Waking up after Free Beer Thrusday binge and feeling the sheets.

:)

[SL]

Back in college I was drinking on the front porch with some friends. One of the guys told us about some trick where you could put lighter fluid on your hand, light it, and it would burn off quickly without injuring you. At the time, I wasn't really putting it together just how bad of an idea this was.

So, he gets out some lighter fluid and absolutely douses his hand. He lights it and his hand goes up in flames. For a second he's fine. Then, he started flapping his hand around and beating it on his leg to try to put it out. Meanwhile the porch floor starts on fire from the excess lighter fluid.

We stomp that out while he runs inside and puts his hand under the kitchen faucet. We're all standing around at that point taking in what we just saw when we hear a rhythmic banging. I look in the house and he's got his hand under the faucet while banging his head on the cabinets over the sink.

I go in and look at his hand and the skin is coming off. So, I took him to the hospital where he had to get it debrided a couple of times. It was bandaged for a couple of weeks. He told the hospital and his parents that he had a 'grilling accident'.

I've seen this, too, except for the skin coming off part. It all started when a guy was blowing fireballs with Bacardi 151. Next dumbass tries to be a one-upper and soaks his hand in lighter fluid and sets it on fire. Never realizes that it will soak into his hand and burn under the skin.

[TallGrass]

Head wounds always look bad. Tiny little cut will bleed like a mofo.
Had a beer glass smashed on my head one night (a bet). We were outside, hot, summer. Felt a drip run down my face, didn't think it was anything. Sweat maybe. Felt a little more, wiped with my hand, it was covered red. Freak out, by then friends see it. They freak out. Whole shoulder of my shirt is turning red, I'm to the point that my brains must be falling out. Run around the dorms (staying on campus for the summer) in a panic. Finally get it cleaned out & look at it's a cut about 1/2" long. Son of a bitch that thing bled.

[LutherBlue89]

Broken ulna when I slipped on some ice steps, intoxication only partly to blame.

Three broken ribs, minor lung puncture, concussion after a bicycle wipe-out. I was .22 in the ER.

[Monster]

Head wounds always look bad. Tiny little cut will bleed like a mofo.
Had a beer glass smashed on my head one night (a bet). We were outside, hot, summer. Felt a drip run down my face, didn't think it was anything. Sweat maybe. Felt a little more, wiped with my hand, it was covered red. Freak out, by then friends see it. They freak out. Whole shoulder of my shirt is turning red, I'm to the point that my brains must be falling out. Run around the dorms (staying on campus for the summer) in a panic. Finally get it cleaned out & look at it's a cut about 1/2" long. Son of a bitch that thing bled.

I was 16 working at Hy-Vee. It was really hot that day, and I worked my ass off, so I was sweating. I was stocking bread, and when I attempted to lift 6 or 7 bread racks off, they slipped and came down on my face. I shook it off and kept working. Some lady asked me a question, I turned around, and she screamed really, really loud. Apparently, the racks stripped a couple layers of skin off my forehead and nose, and my face and shirt were drenched in blood. I just thought it was sweat.

[Glen]

Head wounds always look bad. Tiny little cut will bleed like a mofo.
Had a beer glass smashed on my head one night (a bet). We were outside, hot, summer. Felt a drip run down my face, didn't think it was anything. Sweat maybe. Felt a little more, wiped with my hand, it was covered red. Freak out, by then friends see it. They freak out. Whole shoulder of my shirt is turning red, I'm to the point that my brains must be falling out. Run around the dorms (staying on campus for the summer) in a panic. Finally get it cleaned out & look at it's a cut about 1/2" long. Son of a bitch that thing bled.

I was 16 working at Hy-Vee. It was really hot that day, and I worked my ass off, so I was sweating. I was stocking bread, and when I attempted to lift 6 or 7 bread racks off, they slipped and came down on my face. I shook it off and kept working. Some lady asked me a question, I turned around, and she screamed really, really loud. Apparently, the racks stripped a couple layers of skin off my forehead and nose, and my face and shirt were drenched in blood. I just thought it was sweat.

Or gravy.

[SL]

Head wounds always look bad. Tiny little cut will bleed like a mofo.
Had a beer glass smashed on my head one night (a bet). We were outside, hot, summer. Felt a drip run down my face, didn't think it was anything. Sweat maybe. Felt a little more, wiped with my hand, it was covered red. Freak out, by then friends see it. They freak out. Whole shoulder of my shirt is turning red, I'm to the point that my brains must be falling out. Run around the dorms (staying on campus for the summer) in a panic. Finally get it cleaned out & look at it's a cut about 1/2" long. Son of a bitch that thing bled.

I was 16 working at Hy-Vee. It was really hot that day, and I worked my ass off, so I was sweating. I was stocking bread, and when I attempted to lift 6 or 7 bread racks off, they slipped and came down on my face. I shook it off and kept working. Some lady asked me a question, I turned around, and she screamed really, really loud. Apparently, the racks stripped a couple layers of skin off my forehead and nose, and my face and shirt were drenched in blood. I just thought it was sweat.

Aren't Hy-Vee's air conditioned?

[Jimmie Dimmick]

Head wounds always look bad. Tiny little cut will bleed like a mofo.
Had a beer glass smashed on my head one night (a bet). We were outside, hot, summer. Felt a drip run down my face, didn't think it was anything. Sweat maybe. Felt a little more, wiped with my hand, it was covered red. Freak out, by then friends see it. They freak out. Whole shoulder of my shirt is turning red, I'm to the point that my brains must be falling out. Run around the dorms (staying on campus for the summer) in a panic. Finally get it cleaned out & look at it's a cut about 1/2" long. Son of a bitch that thing bled.

I was 16 working at Hy-Vee. It was really hot that day, and I worked my ass off, so I was sweating. I was stocking bread, and when I attempted to lift 6 or 7 bread racks off, they slipped and came down on my face. I shook it off and kept working. Some lady asked me a question, I turned around, and she screamed really, really loud. Apparently, the racks stripped a couple layers of skin off my forehead and nose, and my face and shirt were drenched in blood. I just thought it was sweat.

Remember the wood and aluminum 8-Pack bottle cases? I had a Pepsi driver walk into my store bleeding all over the place after getting hit in the head with a full one that fell off the top of his stack. He had like 22 staples put in his head for that one.

[Monster]

Had a beer glass smashed on my head one night (a bet). We were outside, hot, summer. Felt a drip run down my face, didn't think it was anything. Sweat maybe. Felt a little more, wiped with my hand, it was covered red. Freak out, by then friends see it. They freak out. Whole shoulder of my shirt is turning red, I'm to the point that my brains must be falling out. Run around the dorms (staying on campus for the summer) in a panic. Finally get it cleaned out & look at it's a cut about 1/2" long. Son of a bitch that thing bled.

I was 16 working at Hy-Vee. It was really hot that day, and I worked my ass off, so I was sweating. I was stocking bread, and when I attempted to lift 6 or 7 bread racks off, they slipped and came down on my face. I shook it off and kept working. Some lady asked me a question, I turned around, and she screamed really, really loud. Apparently, the racks stripped a couple layers of skin off my forehead and nose, and my face and shirt were drenched in blood. I just thought it was sweat.

Aren't Hy-Vee's air conditioned?

I sweat a lot in AC.

[Monster]

Had a beer glass smashed on my head one night (a bet). We were outside, hot, summer. Felt a drip run down my face, didn't think it was anything. Sweat maybe. Felt a little more, wiped with my hand, it was covered red. Freak out, by then friends see it. They freak out. Whole shoulder of my shirt is turning red, I'm to the point that my brains must be falling out. Run around the dorms (staying on campus for the summer) in a panic. Finally get it cleaned out & look at it's a cut about 1/2" long. Son of a bitch that thing bled.

I was 16 working at Hy-Vee. It was really hot that day, and I worked my ass off, so I was sweating. I was stocking bread, and when I attempted to lift 6 or 7 bread racks off, they slipped and came down on my face. I shook it off and kept working. Some lady asked me a question, I turned around, and she screamed really, really loud. Apparently, the racks stripped a couple layers of skin off my forehead and nose, and my face and shirt were drenched in blood. I just thought it was sweat.

Remember the wood and aluminum 8-Pack bottle cases? I had a Pepsi driver walk into my store bleeding all over the place after getting hit in the head with a full one that fell off the top of his stack. He had like 22 staples put in his head for that one.


Yes, I do. That would knock a dude out.

[Hawk_Kegmasters]

I was at a party at a girl's parent's place in West Liberty during the middle of the winter in college. We wind up hot tubbing. 5 girls and 4 dudes in the hot tub and everyone is pretty hammered. Everyone decides that hot tubbing naked sounds like a good idea. One of the guys runs out onto the golf course and steals the flag from the green. Then a girl suggests playing I never. Lots of making out ensues and every guy is pretty much assured some pussy due to the 5-4 female/male ratio and easy drunk chicks. Everyone's having a wild and crazy time.

I decide to go hit the bathroom and am climbing out of the hot tub down the steps. Hit the cement which was had been wet from others getting out and the cement had turned into a sheet of ice. My feet go completely out from under me and I hit my head on the ice and my head cracks open as I'm also am knocked out cold. Still naked.

Next thing I remember I am in the ER. They apparantly got me somewhat clothed and one of the guys took me there from the party. Both guys that stayed at the party got laid.

[Monster]

I was at a party at a girl's parent's place in West Liberty during the middle of the winter in college. We wind up hot tubbing. 5 girls and 4 dudes in the hot tub and everyone is pretty hammered. Everyone decides that hot tubbing naked sounds like a good idea. One of the guys runs out onto the golf course and steals the flag from the green. Then a girl suggests playing I never. Lots of making out ensues and every guy is pretty much assured some pussy due to the 5-4 female/male ratio and easy drunk chicks. Everyone's having a wild and crazy time.

I decide to go hit the bathroom and am climbing out of the hot tub down the steps. Hit the cement which was had been wet from others getting out and the cement had turned into a sheet of ice. My feet go completely out from under me and I hit my head on the ice and my head cracks open as I'm also am knocked out cold. Still naked.

Next thing I remember I am in the ER. They apparantly got me somewhat clothed and one of the guys took me there from the party. Both guys that stayed at the party got laid.

Sounds about right.

[MitchyKramer]

I was at a party at a girl's parent's place in West Liberty during the middle of the winter in college. We wind up hot tubbing. 5 girls and 4 dudes in the hot tub and everyone is pretty hammered. Everyone decides that hot tubbing naked sounds like a good idea. One of the guys runs out onto the golf course and steals the flag from the green. Then a girl suggests playing I never. Lots of making out ensues and every guy is pretty much assured some pussy due to the 5-4 female/male ratio and easy drunk chicks. Everyone's having a wild and crazy time.

I decide to go hit the bathroom and am climbing out of the hot tub down the steps. Hit the cement which was had been wet from others getting out and the cement had turned into a sheet of ice. My feet go completely out from under me and I hit my head on the ice and my head cracks open as I'm also am knocked out cold. Still naked.

Next thing I remember I am in the ER. They apparantly got me somewhat clothed and one of the guys took me there from the party. Both guys that stayed at the party got laid.

My aunt and uncle live on that golf course

[L. Wade Childress]

my brother and i could start a separate website on this topic.

[The Incredible Hawk]

my brother and i could start a separate website on this topic.

this is true. your backflip from getting clotheslined would almost not be believable, along with me almost falling into the iowa river.

[DoeyHawk]

Tailgating in the Myrtle lot two years ago-Stepped into the woods to piss, next thing I know I'm rolling down the hill. Torn MCL. I was fine(pain wise) until I had to sit in the back of a pickup on the way home with zero room to stretch and the booze finally left my system.

[Soda Popinski]

LOL, some chick poured tobasco sauce in that guys eye.

[Pseudonym]

When I was 19, I torw my hamstring while running from the cops after Kstate had beaten Nebraska while I was visiting manhattan, ks. I couldn't even walk normally for something like a month after that. god that sucked.

[Thagoods]

All while in HS or college -

My friend brought over two BB guns. We had a BB gun war in my apartment, and I shot out his front tooth.

We dared some guy to jump out the third story window of our hotel room. He hung down from the window and landed in a bush. He broke his leg.

Broke my hand while being pulled behind a pickup truck in a sled.

A friend tried to tackle me on a trampoline. I picked him up and went to slam him in a powerbomb motion, but missed the trampoline. He had two cracked ribs, and a dislocated shoulder.

There's really so many that I can't even list them all.

[maintain242001]

My friends an I spent a night of heavy drinking after our first semester of college...I broke out some wine and champagne I found while we were at a girls house...she was a classmate of ours in high school. After drinking too much I was dared to smash glasses from the kitchen sink on my head because it would be "cool". After breaking about three to four on my head the blood came pouring out and at the same time I also decided to puke up everything in my stomach, one of only three-four times I have ever thrown up from drinking. I ended up with blood and puke all over my shirt so I went outside to take it off and as I said it was after our first semester in college and it was cold that night(morning) and there was snow on the ground. I simply passed out in the snow half naked which may have been a good thing as the cold seemed to kill the bleeding from my head and ear. Thankfully one chick was with it enough to come outside and look for me after I didnt come back in for a few minutes. After several stitches later and a complete BS story to my parents the next day I decided being a professional drinker probably wasnt in my future.

[maintain242001]

All while in HS or college -

My friend brought over two BB guns. We had a BB gun war in my apartment, and I shot out his front tooth.

We dared some guy to jump out the third story window of our hotel room. He hung down from the window and landed in a bush. He broke his leg.

Broke my hand while being pulled behind a pickup truck in a sled.

A friend tried to tackle me on a trampoline. I picked him up and went to slam him in a powerbomb motion, but missed the trampoline. He had two cracked ribs, and a dislocated shoulder.

There's really so many that I can't even list them all.

yeah we took the hood off a Corsica, tied it to the back of a truck and went sledding down the city streets in the winter....I'm with you on stuff like that

[ivan_drago]

When I was 19, I torw my hamstring while running from the cops after Kstate had beaten Nebraska while I was visiting manhattan, ks. I couldn't even walk normally for something like a month after that. god that sucked.

The fact that you walked at all leads me to believe you didn't even come close to tearing your hamstring. You might have strained it. Torn it? LOL. You'd have known that.

[ivan_drago]

FWIW, my only true contribution to the thread...

I redshirted indoor track season my freshman year at Iowa I got stupid wasted on Mardi Gras and went back to get after it with the girlfriend at the time. While taking her from behind, I slipped off the bed and fell backward into her tv stand, breaking it - and her tv fell on me, knocking me silly. I woke up with 40-some stitches in my back.

I posted a somewhat PG version of this on TOS. The girl's brother posts on the board frequently, and I'd rather not him put it together. Then again, fuck him.