My visit to Sam's Club with my Dad

PipeDaddy · 04-27-2012, 11:39 PM

We've got family in town and are going to be having a big dinner this weekend. So I needed to make a run to Sam's to pick up some various items. My Dad surprised me by volunteering to go with me. Now, I wanted it to be a quick run and obviously I have some reservations, but how do you really say no to your Dad with something like this?

Shopping, for me, is like driving. A complete waste of time, and simply a means to an end. I want to get it done with as little time spent as possible. I knew this was a bad idea.

Anyway, we pile in and drive to Sam's. First, I find out I don't have my Sam's card once we get there. The line at the service counter was about 8 people long and there was only one employee working there. About 20 minutes later it's finally my turn and I get to make up a story about losing my card and I get a new one printed. But of course the lady working at the desk doesn't know how to work the machine, so she gets on the phone with someone else who comes over. He can't figure it out either so they call in more backup. Between the three of them they finally get it to work.

At this point I should have figured this was an omen of things to come and just left. But no, I'm a glutton for punishment.

My Dad is almost 70 and has bad knees so he gets in one of the motorized shopping carts. It turns out that not only is it geriatric day at Sam's, but it is also sample day. Hurray.

You have 75 year old ladies trying to fumble a little piece of cooked burrito into a little serving cup, and 75 year old ladies lining up in their motorized scooters or carts to get one, and this is all set up in aisles that are wide enough already to get exactly 1.68 carts through anyway on a good day. And then when the 75 year old lady is done with her sample she peers over her glasses and fumbles the cup onto the floor instead of into the garbage can.

I really have no interest in tasting the salmon, or the frozen burritos, or the lemonade, or the cookies. Some of the ladies looked hurt when I declined. But lucky for them, my Dad insisted on going to almost every sample station and playing bumper cars with everyone else. And I kept getting boxed in with the same annoying people at every turn.

At one point I was boxed in and couldn't move for about 5 minutes. I texted my wife for help, hoping she could summon the fire trucks to clear out the place. To no avail - she just texted back "He's your Dad. lol."

Well, thanks.

PipeDaddy · 04-27-2012, 11:41 PM

And yes, I know. tl;dr

Mr. Hawk · 04-27-2012, 11:41 PM

That beats the hell out of spending time watching The Adjustment Bureau.

BuffettHawk · 04-27-2012, 11:46 PM

Monster is jealous of this thread.

Monster · 04-27-2012, 11:54 PM

Id give anything to shop at Sams with my dad.

L. Wade Childress · 04-28-2012, 12:35 AM

That actually sounds really fun. Ive wasted hours doing stupid shit with my dad. I dont get to see him much anymore.

BBK · 04-28-2012, 03:08 AM

WPP.

Rolo Tomassi · 04-28-2012, 06:13 AM

When my FIL was in his late eighties and living by himself he would go to Sam's Club and buy food in bulk quantities - enough to feed an army. Then he'd store the food around his house and forget he had it.

Monster · 04-28-2012, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rolo Tomassi

When my FIL was in his late eighties and living by himself he would go to Sam's Club and buy food in bulk quantities - enough to feed an army. Then he'd store the food around his house and forget he had it.

Address?

Natty Bumppo · 04-28-2012, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Hawk

That beats the hell out of spending time watching The Adjustment Bureau.

Thanks for the heads up. The wife has been trying to get me to watch that with her. I was almost ready to cave.

ClintWalker · 04-28-2012, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monster

Id give anything to shop at Sams with my dad.

Same here.

BLSardo · 04-28-2012, 10:12 AM

JFC.

Wouldja switch to Costco already, Pipe.

newsbreaker · 04-28-2012, 10:13 AM

Going to the customer service counter at Sam's is really asking to see ever single store employee in 15 minutes or less. Those girls are always retarded.

brantshawks · 04-28-2012, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monster

Id give anything to shop at Sams with my dad.

That would be the oddest reunion spot I've heard of.

hawkchick79 · 04-28-2012, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BLSardo

JFC.

Wouldja switch to Costco already, Pipe.

Costco doesn't open for a couple months.

04-27-2012, 11:39 PM	#1
PipeDaddy Nanny State Leach Enabler Join Date: 05:04 PM August 23rd, 2007 Posts: 27,815	My visit to Sam's Club with my Dad We've got family in town and are going to be having a big dinner this weekend. So I needed to make a run to Sam's to pick up some various items. My Dad surprised me by volunteering to go with me. Now, I wanted it to be a quick run and obviously I have some reservations, but how do you really say no to your Dad with something like this? Shopping, for me, is like driving. A complete waste of time, and simply a means to an end. I want to get it done with as little time spent as possible. I knew this was a bad idea. Anyway, we pile in and drive to Sam's. First, I find out I don't have my Sam's card once we get there. The line at the service counter was about 8 people long and there was only one employee working there. About 20 minutes later it's finally my turn and I get to make up a story about losing my card and I get a new one printed. But of course the lady working at the desk doesn't know how to work the machine, so she gets on the phone with someone else who comes over. He can't figure it out either so they call in more backup. Between the three of them they finally get it to work. At this point I should have figured this was an omen of things to come and just left. But no, I'm a glutton for punishment. My Dad is almost 70 and has bad knees so he gets in one of the motorized shopping carts. It turns out that not only is it geriatric day at Sam's, but it is also sample day. Hurray. You have 75 year old ladies trying to fumble a little piece of cooked burrito into a little serving cup, and 75 year old ladies lining up in their motorized scooters or carts to get one, and this is all set up in aisles that are wide enough already to get exactly 1.68 carts through anyway on a good day. And then when the 75 year old lady is done with her sample she peers over her glasses and fumbles the cup onto the floor instead of into the garbage can. I really have no interest in tasting the salmon, or the frozen burritos, or the lemonade, or the cookies. Some of the ladies looked hurt when I declined. But lucky for them, my Dad insisted on going to almost every sample station and playing bumper cars with everyone else. And I kept getting boxed in with the same annoying people at every turn. At one point I was boxed in and couldn't move for about 5 minutes. I texted my wife for help, hoping she could summon the fire trucks to clear out the place. To no avail - she just texted back "He's your Dad. lol." Well, thanks.

04-27-2012, 11:54 PM	#5
Monster Could Not Run a 7 Minute Mile Join Date: 01:55 PM September 20th, 2007 Location: Scotland Posts: 47,738	Id give anything to shop at Sams with my dad. __________________

04-28-2012, 12:35 AM	#6
L. Wade Childress Is Texting Right Now Join Date: 02:22 PM August 24th, 2007 Location: METRO! Posts: 32,722	That actually sounds really fun. Ive wasted hours doing stupid shit with my dad. I dont get to see him much anymore. __________________ I don't know if I could ever, ever change. I don't think that I would want to anyway.

04-28-2012, 03:08 AM	#7
BBK Joey FatOne Join Date: 09:52 PM December 8th, 2009 Location: Chicago Posts: 25,469	WPP. __________________

04-28-2012, 06:13 AM	#8
Rolo Tomassi Friend to All Small Animals Join Date: 09:19 AM January 11th, 2008 Location: Athens, Georgia Posts: 17,677	When my FIL was in his late eighties and living by himself he would go to Sam's Club and buy food in bulk quantities - enough to feed an army. Then he'd store the food around his house and forget he had it. __________________

04-27-2012, 11:41 PM	#2
PipeDaddy Nanny State Leach Enabler Join Date: 05:04 PM August 23rd, 2007 Posts: 27,815	And yes, I know. tl;dr

04-27-2012, 11:41 PM	#3
Mr. Hawk Has a Particular Set of Skills Join Date: 03:54 PM August 23rd, 2007 Location: A van down by the river Posts: 46,649	That beats the hell out of spending time watching The Adjustment Bureau.

04-27-2012, 11:46 PM	#4
BuffettHawk NAMBLA Member Join Date: 10:17 PM August 23rd, 2007 Location: Minneapolis, MN Posts: 17,249	Monster is jealous of this thread.

04-28-2012, 10:12 AM	#12
BLSardo Join Date: 01:48 PM April 12th, 2011 Posts: 13,692	JFC. Wouldja switch to Costco already, Pipe. __________________ Enjoy every sandwich.

04-28-2012, 10:13 AM	#13
newsbreaker Saw A Nipple Right Away Join Date: 02:43 PM August 24th, 2007 Posts: 42,915	Going to the customer service counter at Sam's is really asking to see ever single store employee in 15 minutes or less. Those girls are always retarded. __________________

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