***2023 Iowa Football offseason thread***

[6deuce]

@The Dad is a stupid Fuck!!! Bruce!!!!

The bald fuck is a battered wife trying to finally stand up for himself and you guys attack him. Disgusting.

 

[StinkyMcFadden]

Jesus, I forgot the "important" little tidbit I picked up today. Vines is looking good but also missing some time. Shows good vision and can climb for high balls. Joe looks good. Deacon has the strongest arm my source has ever seen at Iowa but is wild. Cade's mobility is being limited so he's pretty much just throwing from a pure drop back position. Higgins is a monster and has been told to ease up the contact. Cooper and X looking like the most athletic Iowa D Backs within memory and seem to be everywhere. When younger guys are getting reps and Cooper and X have been seen catching passes from a walk on QB, nothing from the QBs that will play, when they aren't involved in D work. Also shagging punts when there's some unstructured time or the coaches are working with smaller groups. Spencer is not always in uniform but does appear involved in coaching in or out of his practice uni, he and Cade spend a lot of time talking. Offensive line is hard to say, some new guys getting reps, lots of minor injuries. Also, unsurprisingly the D Line is very dominant.

One funny story. Deacon Hill was running a kind of bootleg and reserve LB came up and neither guy let up so their helmets collided, and both were knocked straight backward on their asses. The coaches didn't find that nearly as amusing as did my guy and I find it. Sometimes the big boys just like to lay some lumber.

 

[Gushawk]

None of that makes me feel good at all except the stuff about the defense.

 

[Debit One]

Cade McNamara has to be wondering why in the hell he has to listen to what the worst QB in college football has to say about anything.

 

[HerkyHopeful]

Fuck Kirk for letting that stupid SOB ever touch the practice field again

 

[StinkyMcFadden]

Cade McNamara has to be wondering why in the hell he has to listen to what the worst QB in college football has to say about anything.

When you have the worst QB in the country (mentally/physically/statistically), it's important that he be involved in mentoring the new guy who started at Michigan.

 

[Gushawk]

How they cannot have a good riddance view toward the Spencer Petras era is hard to wrap one’s mind around.

 

[thrawn]

How they cannot have a good riddance view toward the Spencer Petras era is hard to wrap one’s mind around.

Because he isn’t done. They brought in competition, not a replacement.

 

[Gushawk]

Not even my pessimistic mind can make room for that possibility.

 

[The Dad]

Not even my pessimistic mind can make room for that possibility.

Gus, he’s showing up to practice in pads…

 

[Gushawk]

if there are reports he’s taking snaps with the 1s I’ll immediately be in full red alert mode!

 

[Alan Lomax]

None of that makes me feel good at all except the stuff about the defense.

On the other hand, having them reach the scoring goal due to significant defensive points would be better than not making that embarrassingly low bar.

 

[Gushawk]

If it takes defensive points to get over it, I’d rather we fail and a decision (or pathetic backtracking excuse-making) be forced.

 

[HerkyHopeful]

I thought that dipshit had major shoulder surgery?

 

[Alan Lomax]

If it takes defensive points to get over it, I’d rather we fail and a decision (or pathetic backtracking excuse-making) be forced.

I appreciate that view as well, but the amount of shit he’d eat by making it ONLY because of the defense would be pretty great

 

[AZmessDAWG]

This is gonna be a fun offseason!

 

[Gushawk]

I appreciate that view as well, but the amount of shit he’d eat by making it ONLY because of the defense would be pretty great

Brian/Kirk/Gartaif that happens:

 

[Gushawk]

This is gonna be a fun offseason!

if only something could have been done. they just can’t win with some fans!

 

[thrawn]

December headlines

Doch: the inside story of how Iowa’s QB revolution circled back to Petras

Chad: DVR Monday: why Kirk’s son, Brian Ferentz is back despite missing goals

Howe: how Kirk’s son, Brian Ferentz’s extension reinforces white supremacy

Eickholt: Why healthy Spencer is gonna be a problem in the Quick Lane Bowl

Miller: I’m the third wheel in a MFF throuple; why all men should do this

 

[Hawk&Balls]

Miller: I’m the third wheel in a MMF throupl; why all men should do this

 

[Dr. Zaius]

How long before Tony Rice-a-roni starts coaching Cade?

 

[BillyBob]

Damn, ppl really thinking the SpenceDawg is done

 

[Stomper15]

Damn, ppl really thinking the SpenceDawg is done

It's a really sad tale. He never quit on the fans; why are the fans quitting on him?

 

[CleteyColgate]

How they cannot have a good riddance view toward the Spencer Petras era is hard to wrap one’s mind around.

#HALOObsession

 

[Gushawk]

Not sure it’s HaLo that can’t let go.

 

[PoopyFaceTomatoNose]

Im just hoping McNamara can pick up some tips and tricks from Spence this fall.

 

[KitKatApples]

The Pierrot or whatever

 

[Kamala]

The Pierrot or whatever

Not even close

 

[KitKatApples]

Good

 

[Kamala]

Im just hoping McNamara can pick up some tips and tricks from Spence this fall.

If you ever need to 3 step, dovetail, quarter count, elbow flux, Vandalay pattern, one yard down the field to the sideline I don’t know if you could learn from anyone better

 

[Uff Da]

McNamara has two years left, needs this season to learn from watching the master of the offense, Petras.

 

[BBK]

My bizarro wet dream is that Brian meets the scoring metric, but we have a below average season and Kirk blames the scoring metric.

"I'm here to win football games, not score points."

 

[Herky823]

My bizarro wet dream is that Brian meets the scoring metric, but we have a below average season and Kirk blames the scoring metric.

"I'm here to win football games, not score points."

Nah

hit the scoring average by laying it on some bad teams and scoring 20 against anyone with a pulse. Finish 6-6. Then KF comes out with how he feels good about where we are, that scoring obviously wasn’t the issue at 26.8 ppg the ball just didn’t bounce our way and we’re running it back

 

[The Dad]

Nah

hit the scoring average by laying it on some bad teams and scoring 20 against anyone with a pulse. Finish 6-6. Then KF comes out with how he feels good about where we are, that scoring obviously wasn’t the issue at 26.8 ppg the ball just didn’t bounce our way and we’re running it back

That’s your wet dream scenario?

 

[Herky823]

That’s your wet dream scenario?

oh no. not exactly. My wet dream scenario is that Iowa goes 15-0 with an average score of 38-3.

 

[Hawkstrat]

oh no. not exactly. My wet dream scenario is that Iowa goes 15-0 with an average score of 38-3.

15-0, win every game 13-0.

 

[neshawk]

My worst nightmare is after Spencer graduates he will start a midwest branch of QB guru Tony R's School and continue to pass his knowledge on to Iowa QB's.

 

[The Dad]

My worst nightmare is after Spencer graduates he will start a midwest branch of QB guru Tony R's School and continue to pass his knowledge on to Iowa QB's.

He might have to open these in another country.

 

[Gushawk]

My worst nightmare is after Spencer graduates he will start a midwest branch of QB guru Tony R's School and continue to pass his knowledge on to Iowa QB's.

the funny thing is that there definitely are Metro dads who are big enough dumbfucks to pay money for something like that

 

[Fair and Balanced]

Coach, how do you measure success on offense?

Well, Tory likes the ball on the right hash so we try to do that on at least 65% of our possessions.

 

[KitKatApples]

the funny thing is that there definitely are Metro dads who are big enough dumbfucks to pay money for something like that

It's nationwide stupidity

 

[Callisto]

 

[Natty Bumppo]

Tanners worry me.

 

[YugoslavianMountainHound]

Tanners worry me.

 

[Hawkstrat]

Evidently he's a PWO.

 

[KitKatApples]

@Dr. Zaius how do these people not get skin cancer?

 

[Dr. Zaius]

@Dr. Zaius how do these people not get skin cancer?

Oh they do….they do

 

[KitKatApples]

Ah

 

[HerkyHopeful]

 

[Hawk&Balls]

that's gonna look weird