**2026 Iowa Football Offseason and Transfer Portal Thread**

[The Incredible Hawk]

Taylormade Sim 2 Max.

 

[Pinehawk]

Grip it and rip it.

 

[Monster]

Grip it and rip it.

Played tonight. I gripped it and shanked the fuck out of it.

 

[Pinehawk]

Nowhere to go but up from here.




Up…and to the left.
Fore!

 

[Kerky]

Played tonight. I gripped it and shanked the fuck out of it.

A couple of days ago I shanked my opening tee shot so badly it hit the maintenance shed where the head of the course was working on some equipment. I saw his head pop up with a like what was that noise and after I hit my next shot down the middle of hole 1, I went over apologizing profusely. He smiled and said no problem, I said, no I almost killed you that was a horrible shot. Good news was I found my ball near the shed.

 

[Monster]

A couple of days ago I shanked my opening tee shot so badly it hit the maintenance shed where the head of the course was working on some equipment. I saw his head pop up with a like what was that noise and after I hit my next shot down the middle of hole 1, I went over apologizing profusely. He smiled and said no problem, I said, no I almost killed you that was a horrible shot. Good news was I found my ball near the shed.

I hit a few bad shots but none like that. I finally had one decent drive with the new driver. I hit it maybe 20 times at Kinleys in the screen prior to purchase. I just need to get out to the range. I played with my son again, who is brand new to golf and not a great athlete in terms of soft skills. He's very large and very strong and aggressive. His long time friend also played, who is new to golf and aggressive. Ended up hitting into the foursome in front of us twice. Nothing terribly close to them but enough to piss them off I'm sure. Those boys are inexperienced and don't know their own strength. I apologized, of course. One guy seemed like he wanted to give us a piece of his mind but apparently decided against it.

I love my new irons.

 

[brantshawks]

I hit a few bad shots but none like that. I finally had one decent drive with the new driver. I hit it maybe 20 times at Kinleys in the screen prior to purchase. I just need to get out to the range. I played with my son again, who is brand new to golf and not a great athlete in terms of soft skills. He's very large and very strong and aggressive. His long time friend also played, who is new to golf and aggressive. Ended up hitting into the foursome in front of us twice. Nothing terribly close to them but enough to piss them off I'm sure. Those boys are inexperienced and don't know their own strength. I apologized, of course. One guy seemed like he wanted to give us a piece of his mind but apparently decided against it.

I love my new irons.

We need a little outing.

 

[Monster]

We need a little outing.

My schedule is pretty open.

 

[Kerky]

I hit a few bad shots but none like that. I finally had one decent drive with the new driver. I hit it maybe 20 times at Kinleys in the screen prior to purchase. I just need to get out to the range. I played with my son again, who is brand new to golf and not a great athlete in terms of soft skills. He's very large and very strong and aggressive. His long time friend also played, who is new to golf and aggressive. Ended up hitting into the foursome in front of us twice. Nothing terribly close to them but enough to piss them off I'm sure. Those boys are inexperienced and don't know their own strength. I apologized, of course. One guy seemed like he wanted to give us a piece of his mind but apparently decided against it.

I love my new irons.

I blamed my shot on my tendinitis which does cause me to compensate with my swing, particularly during the first few holes. I have now taken Incredible's recommendation and am donning this

 

[Monster]

I blame my bad shots on being bad at golf.

 

[cloudhawk]

Nothing will make you THINK you have your driver dialed in like hitting the range

 

[Thomas Wolsey]

Nothing will make you THINK you have your driver dialed in like hitting the range

Posture and alignment are skills that take practice

 

[Gushawk]

The thing about golf is that I’m unable and unwilling to commit the time required to get better that barely not terrible.

 

[Monster]

The thing about golf is that I’m unable and unwilling to commit the time required to get better that barely not terrible.

Your problem is your competitiveness. At our age, you really shouldn't give a shit about how you play.

 

[The Dad]

Correct, and we’re all probably long past the threshold of any meaningful improvement.

Just have to accept the “sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe shit” mantra and roll with it.

 

[Hawk&Balls]

Shitty golf beats doing just about anything else

 

[Monster]

Correct, and we’re all probably long past the threshold of any meaningful improvement.

Just have to accept the “sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe shit” mantra and roll with it.

Correct. At this point, golf is a vehicle to see your friends and drink a couple beers (seltzers). I absolutely love my golf time with my son. I could shoot 10s on each hole and wouldn't give a single fuck.

 

[6deuce]

I have the shanks worse than I've ever had them. Has been over a month. I'm ready to kill myself. Driver, fairway woods (when I don't duck hook them), chipping, and putting are all fine, but I can not hit an iron to save my life right now. I've never been more frustrated than I am right now. I've never been a good golfer, but had my handicap down to just under an 11 and now I'm probably a 25+ I'm so bad.

 

[Kerky]

Correct, and we’re all probably long past the threshold of any meaningful improvement.

Just have to accept the “sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe shit” mantra and roll with it.

One good shot leads to 2 bad and the cycle continues b/c it lures you back to try for that feeling that comes with the one good shot.

 

[cjhawks]

We need a little outing.

My schedule is pretty open.

Ahem - only thing on my schedule is free time.

 

[KitKatApples]

How much of this is honestly AIDS related though?

 

[Monster]

How much of this is honestly AIDS related though?

AIDs is completely curable now.

 

[KitKatApples]

There’s no proving that

 

[BuffettHawk]

There’s no proving that

 

[KitKatApples]

Psyop

 

[Thomas Wolsey]

Psyop

Cyop

 

[CleteyColgate]

AIDs is completely curable now.

Boom

 

[L. Wade Childress]

Shitty golf beats doing just about anything else

not for the group behind you

 

[cloudhawk]

Dudes trying top a land speed record to finish a round always humour me...dude buy a drink and relax. You are at a fucking golf course

 

[Monster]

Dudes trying top a land speed record to finish a round always humour me...dude buy a drink and relax. You are at a fucking golf course

There's definitely a line. I don't like 5-6 hr rounds. No one does. But no one should expect a 3 hr round. A couple weeks ago a group behind us was clearly agitated waiting. About hole 6 they rolled up and asked rather brusquely if they could play through and were clearly put off when I declined. It was Friday mid morning and the course was full. We were waiting along with the groups ahead of us. Nowhere to go. They definitely needed a beer.

 

[Hawk&Balls]

It's the foursomes in two carts that don't know how to play with carts that annoy me

 

[Thomas Wolsey]

i hate me some 5 hour rounds boyz

 

[The Dad]

There’s a group of 12-16 faggots who travel around the metro booking a block of evening tee times and all think they’re PGA pros. They take forever and completely bog down the course for any others trying to get a quick evening 18 in. It’s pure faggotry and they need to be stopped or killed.

 

[KitKatApples]

You’ll be happy to know I like to pick up my clubs by the 16th joke and just drink and drive the cart

 

[L. Wade Childress]

There’s a group of 12-16 faggots who travel around the metro booking a block of evening tee times and all think they’re PGA pros. They take forever and completely bog down the course for any others trying to get a quick evening 18 in. It’s pure faggotry and they need to be stopped or killed.

I would still go if you invited me

 

[L. Wade Childress]

No one is looking for 3 hour rounds. 4 hour rounds are the goal, maybe 4:15 at more challenging courses. If you constantly hit your driver awry, just drop and play from there.

I am a bad golfer. But I get done in 4 hours.

 

[BBK]

Fuckin white people

 

[Kerky]

It's the foursomes in two carts that don't know how to play with carts that annoy me

And those same guys that will take practice swings, eventually hit, get back in the cart after taking time to put the club away and move about 20 feet for the next guy from the same cart to do his practice swings etc etc etc. all while knowing or should knowing they're creating a bottleneck behind them. It's only my first year playing but I've definitely noticed the differences in etiquette and self awareness. For example, I play at non peak times and many of the golfers are teenagers who don't replace divots etc.., but at least they play fast.

 

[Monster]

There’s a group of 12-16 faggots who travel around the metro booking a block of evening tee times and all think they’re PGA pros. They take forever and completely bog down the course for any others trying to get a quick evening 18 in. It’s pure faggotry and they need to be stopped or killed.

You're out. No, I believe you're out. Go ahead. No, you're clearly out. Ok, now let me line up my putt for 3 full minutes. That 8 inch putt is definitely not a gimme. Is it in your line? Let me mark that. Ok now who has the honors? I got a boagie, so did you. What about last hole? Hold on, Trevor, I believe Jordan had honors.

 

[The Dad]

You're out. No, I believe you're out. Go ahead. No, you're clearly out. Ok, now let me line up my putt for 3 full minutes. That 8 inch putt is definitely not a gimme. Is it in your line? Let me mark that. Ok now who has the honors? I got a boagie, so did you. What about last hole? Hold on, Trevor, I believe Jordan had honors.

Yep… every single one is wearing a white belt and has 5 alignment sticks in their bags.

 

[Monster]

I don't even know what an alignment stick is.

 

[Hawk&Balls]

You’ll be happy to know I like to pick up my clubs by the 16th joke and just drink and drive the cart

What are jokes 1-15?

 

[The Dad]

 

[KitKatApples]

What are jokes 1-15?

Usually just farts during back swings

 

[cloudhawk]

Thinking about @The Dad just trying to get in a quick evening 18 humors me....golf people

 

[Dr. Zaius]

3 hour rounds are awesome

 

[cloudhawk]

 

[cloudhawk]

I always let dudes like the dad play through. Their time is super important and their wife only allows them so much time to get a round in

 

[WCFHawkeye]

Wrong thread.

 

[The Dad]

I always let dudes like the dad play through. Their time is super important and their wife only allows them so much time to get a round in

Cloudhawk = white belt slow play faggot?