**Official Wisconsin vs. Iowa Football Thread - 2:30pm - FS1 or BTN**

2HawkFans

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I’m thinking of all the times at tailgates I just pissed in random bushes or wherever to avoid long lines or having to walk a block or two for a porta-potty. He had to go, he went. Big fucking deal.
I had to laugh at this. It reminds me of going to a game about 15 years ago. Was walking between the cars behind the press box to avoid the crowds at the gates. Looked over and here is this 20-somthing cute blonde squatted down with her skirt up and panties at her knees taking a leak. That beaver was shaved as smooth as a baby's butt. She said "don't look"....but it was too late. My mind had already taken the snapshot photo. :roll:
 

WCFHawkeye

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Normally my wife proofreads my post but she’s to busy fucking you so fuck off right back!
This post made me search for this:

Good memory. Yes, that was me. The Reader's Digest version is that 2 couples I know went on vacation together. On a drunken/stoned impulse, they decided to swap. The one dude played football for MSU and is a big dude, apparently in all respects. They shared a hotel room (this was back when they were young and poor). The one guy (not the athlete) finishes quickly. He and the other dude's wife sit and watch while the Spartan jackhammers his wife for the next 20 minutes - switching positions, grunting, etc.

The moral of the story is to never, under any circumstances, finish first when you wife-swap. The ancillary moral is to never, under any circumstances, let anyone else fuck your wife. The fucked up thing is that the couple is still together but every time we see them, that's all we talk about. They will forever be tied to that story.
 

cloudhawk

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Isn't that what the sideline escort cop is for. Issue public urination tickets on the sideline and escort the coaches to the midfield handshake and to lockerroom.
 

WCFHawkeye

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I’m thinking of all the times at tailgates I just pissed in random bushes or wherever to avoid long lines or having to walk a block or two for a porta-potty. He had to go, he went. Big fucking deal.
2006 we were in Ann Arbor tailgating on the golf course near the stadium. They had about 2 port-o-potties for a few thousand people on the course. We took turns all day long pissing in a long row of trees near the edge of the course. Five minutes after I finished one-time, two cops on bicycles rode up and witnessed 2 from our group pissing in those trees, and gave them the option of a $50 Public Urination ticket with a mail-in option, or an indecent exposure ticket, have to come back to Michigan, and if guilty register as sex offenders. They chose option A.
 
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BngHawk

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Meh. Dial me up when a player lays a turd on the turf
 
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WCFHawkeye

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Jesus. I knew that game was bad, but I didn’t remember it being “66 yards of total offense” bad.
I'm not sure which was worse, the 1.7 yards per pass attempt, or the 1.0 yards per carry. All good for 5 first downs for the game. One week after putting up 55 against Ohio State.
 

brantshawks

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2006 we were in Ann Arbor tailgating on the golf course near the stadium. They had about 2 port-o-potties for a few thousand people on the course. We took turns all day long pissing in a long row of trees near the edge of the course. Five minutes after I finished one-time, two cops on bicycles rode up and witnessed 2 from our group pissing in those trees, and gave them the option of a $50 Public Urination ticket with a mail-in option, or an indecent exposure ticket, have to come back to Michigan, and if guilty register as sex offenders. They chose option A.
I had to have been parked right next to you. We saw the cops harassing people for doing the same thing thousands of others had been.
 

newsbreaker

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Maybe it's because all my family is from far SW Wisconsin, but I have NEVER heard of this.

It's a state of animals.
 

6deuce

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When my dad was a butcher (80's and 90's) he would often eat raw hamburger sandwiches with just salt and pepper. He would never do it now with all the shit that goes on in packing plants, but he had no problem doing it when he was the one doing all the processing.
 

The Dad

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When my dad was a butcher (80's and 90's) he would often eat raw hamburger sandwiches with just salt and pepper. He would never do it now with all the shit that goes on in packing plants, but he had no problem doing it when he was the one doing all the processing.
That’s how you know you have a butcher who’s worth a shit.

I bet he never put you or your retarded brother in charge of cleaning the grinder.
 

6deuce

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That’s how you know you have a butcher who’s worth a shit.

I bet he never put you or your retarded brother in charge of cleaning the grinder.
The grinder was pretty idiot proof. The saw on the other hand could fuck your world up in a hurry. I didn't clean that one until I was probably later elementary. My mom lost the tip of her index finger using the patty maker. The worst injury I every sustained at the locker was cleaning the cutting table and my elbow hit one of the big boning knives and it sliced my knee pretty good. Never got stiches.

The most fun the retard (brother) and I had was at the slaughter house. Popping guts with a knife, shocking each other with the cattle prod, shocking the already butchered meat hanging on hooks with the cattle prod to watch the muscles twitch. The best was when he butchered a sheep and he didn't halve it like he did the hogs and beef so it was a whole skinned carcass hanging on a hook and when I lit it up with the cattle prod it went into full gallop. Pops wasn't too thrilled with me that day.
 

The Dad

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The grinder was pretty idiot proof. The saw on the other hand could fuck your world up in a hurry. I didn't clean that one until I was probably later elementary. My mom lost the tip of her index finger using the patty maker. The worst injury I every sustained at the locker was cleaning the cutting table and my elbow hit one of the big boning knives and it sliced my knee pretty good. Never got stiches.

The most fun the retard (brother) and I had was at the slaughter house. Popping guts with a knife, shocking each other with the cattle prod, shocking the already butchered meat hanging on hooks with the cattle prod to watch the muscles twitch. The best was when he butchered a sheep and he didn't halve it like he did the hogs and beef so it was a whole skinned carcass hanging on a hook and when I lit it up with the cattle prod it went into full gallop. Pops wasn't too thrilled with me that day.
Restless meat ain’t tender meat!
 

Creed

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The grinder was pretty idiot proof. The saw on the other hand could fuck your world up in a hurry. I didn't clean that one until I was probably later elementary. My mom lost the tip of her index finger using the patty maker. The worst injury I every sustained at the locker was cleaning the cutting table and my elbow hit one of the big boning knives and it sliced my knee pretty good. Never got stiches.

The most fun the retard (brother) and I had was at the slaughter house. Popping guts with a knife, shocking each other with the cattle prod, shocking the already butchered meat hanging on hooks with the cattle prod to watch the muscles twitch. The best was when he butchered a sheep and he didn't halve it like he did the hogs and beef so it was a whole skinned carcass hanging on a hook and when I lit it up with the cattle prod it went into full gallop. Pops wasn't too thrilled with me that day.
1608068037216.jpeg
 

6deuce

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It Makes A $uper Patty...and short fingers.
 

SuperHans

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It’s kind of gross, but I have peed in like 27 different IC/DSM alleys plus off like all the downtown bridges so I am not really the person to judge.
When I lived in DC I had a few drunken late night walks across the National Mall...
 

CamelTones

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When posted that tweet I just thought it was kinda funny.

Didn’t think it would turn into any sort of discussion but here we are.
 

Mountain Hawk

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My wife, a Wisconsin native, was talking about this earlier today.

She was attempting to interest me in trying one. Raw hamburger + a slice of onion just isn't doing it for me.

@Jimmie Dimmick was right.
If you die of e. coli, you no longer have to worry about COVID-19.
 
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