**2026 Iowa Football Season Thread**

[douglasbader]

The University of Iowa Football program, complete with 128 direct staff employees, a $20m coaching budget, an army of analysts and specialists including the QB/OC guru for Peyton Manning and Tom Brady is the only program in FBS or FCS that has not publicly named a starting QB.

Leistikow and Dochterman talking about it this week and they both act like they clearly want to murder the staff. Point out that Kirk Ferentz was annoyed that on Kid's Day that one of the QB's dared separate themselves publicly. "You just knew that was going to happen."

No fucking shit Kirk, isn't that exactly what you WANT to happen? All of the Iowa staff acting annoyed that Hecklinski clearly outplayed Brown (who looked fucking awful) is a BAD thing. "What an asshole these two QB's are for making it so glaringly obvious which one is better in front of thousands of people! How dare they make this an easy decision for us!"

Kirk is so fucking weird sometimes. I've said it in the past, but he's like this with lesser teams they play. I think he feels bad or wrong or sick to his stomach if somehow things aren't close. Hayden in the past or a guy like Cignetti now are fucking thrilled to beat the dog fuck out of shitty teams. Hayden loved stomping in Iowa State's head by 40+. Kirk acts like he's sad when the game doesn't come down to a FG in the last 2 minutes.

 

[douglasbader]

Also, in the year 2026 NIL era, wouldn't it be wiser to take the money you are paying some 88 year old guy and half a dozen other analysts and use it to get a 1 year QB solution again that gets you to Bessinger next year rather than potentially tanking your entire season on a dork that Auburn couldn't wait to get rid of and a guy that was going to be a walk on after a year at Wake Forrest?

Bringing in Old Man River as your QB guru and having him show up every fucking day at 3:45am to flub around and not be able to tell you which of the QB's is less shitty seems like a giant fucking waste of money and resources.

Mother fuckers. Hecklinski and Brown handed you the gift of all gifts on Kid's Day. They made the public decision obvious and easy that day, just name Hecklinski and give him all the #1 QB snaps for the next 3 weeks. If he sucks during the first few games, just go to Brown. If he also sucks, then go to Sullivan. If he sucks, then throw Bessinger into the fire and see if he is the stud you think he is.

How fucking hard is that? FUCK!!!!!!!

 

[L. Wade Childress]

He feels that if you don’t win a game with special teams and defense then the win didn’t really count.

It’s insulting to the average fan who really just wants to drink beer, be entertained, and hopefully see a W on any given day.

There’s a zero percent chance he leaves the program is as attractive of shape as it is right now. We have a lot of young talent, a decent amount of revenue support, great facilities and fans, and a forward thinking AD. But if it were up to him, Brian would be the head coach next year.

 

[CUIHAWK]

Game week Doug, engaged.

 

[Hawk24]

I see we're all ready for another nice, relaxing season enjoying our favorite form of sports entertainment, giving everyone hours of happiness and pleasure.

 

[Hawk&Balls]

Kirk is both not a good QB evaluator, and horrendous at admitting when he's wrong about qbs

 

[26.2]

Also, in the year 2026 NIL era, wouldn't it be wiser to take the money you are paying some 88 year old guy and half a dozen other analysts and use it to get a 1 year QB solution again that gets you to Bessinger next year rather than potentially tanking your entire season on a dork that Auburn couldn't wait to get rid of and a guy that was going to be a walk on after a year at Wake Forrest?

Bringing in Old Man River as your QB guru and having him show up every fucking day at 3:45am to flub around and not be able to tell you which of the QB's is less shitty seems like a giant fucking waste of money and resources.

Mother fuckers. Hecklinski and Brown handed you the gift of all gifts on Kid's Day. They made the public decision obvious and easy that day, just name Hecklinski and give him all the #1 QB snaps for the next 3 weeks. If he sucks during the first few games, just go to Brown. If he also sucks, then go to Sullivan. If he sucks, then throw Bessinger into the fire and see if he is the stud you think he is.

How fucking hard is that? FUCK!!!!!!!

faggot

 

[Hawk&Balls]

Plz make Doug QB coach

 

[Thrawn II]

It may be week one, but Doug is in mid-season form. We may be seeing Doug’s best season ever if Kirk splits QB snaps.

 

[douglasbader]

Kirk handing out $150k-$250k analyst jobs with full benefits like they are candy to any old friend that asks.

88 years old and can barely see? Come on down! Out of the NFL for years and don't want to work a real job? Come on in! Old retired coach from years ago that's bored and wants to get away from the wife? Welcome back! Got fired from every job and have no other options? Here's a job for you! Sloppy, sweaty, cracker pig that brought in Cade and Bacon Hill? Shit son, analyst is beneath you, here's a $750k salary and you can coach a position no other human in the world would let you coach. You're like the fat retarded son I used to have at OC but that evil lesbo fired and made me sad. I'll never let you leave! You got man-tits and bang one of my daughters? Shit, I'll make you GM and you can run the whole operation!

 

[AZmessDAWG]

Dude calm down, you fucking spaz.

 

[Hawk&Balls]

 

[douglasbader]

BREAKING - new video from inside the Iowa football facility of Moon Head Coach Kirk Ferentz trying to name a starting QB for the 2026 season....

 

[douglasbader]

TWENTY FUCKING MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR IN COACHING SALARIES AND ANALYSTS AND THEY CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHICH SHITTY QB IS BETTER AFTER MORE THAN A YEAR.

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[brantshawks]

Doug, you m-m-m-make me happy.

 

[Renegade_ofFunk]

You can script the stupidest outcome possible in advance. Hank Brown is going to look like a more mobile Peaches out there. Hecklinski will probably look mostly good but throw one pick which will cause this to drag out another 2 weeks.

 

[douglasbader]

"You know, after over a year of seeing these guys we just can't make a decision. I'm sure something during a game as a 32+ point favorite will surely help us make that final decision on how to move forward."

 

[douglasbader]

You can script the stupidest outcome possible in advance. Hank Brown is going to look like a more mobile Peaches out there. Hecklinski will probably look mostly good but throw one pick which will cause this to drag out another 2 weeks.

It's too risky to choose one of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[douglasbader]

Who are we kidding. None of this will matter much, mostly because it doesn't matter who your QB is when your shitty, undersized, no talent or too young defensive tackles are getting shoved 5 yards down the field and you're getting gashed for 6-7 yards per carry over and over.

 

[CUIHAWK]

Let it all out.

 

[Mysterio]

this is embarrassing for dug. hawthorne is a very good dt too

 

[jquintana]

They made the public decision obvious and easy that day, just name Hecklinski and give him all the #1 QB snaps for the next 3 weeks. If he sucks during the first few games, just go to Brown. If he also sucks, then go to Sullivan. If he sucks, then throw Bessinger into the fire and see if he is the stud you think he is.

Kirk can do this at every position on the team except quarterback. For some reason, he thinks that he needs to be involved with the decision. Just let Lester pick one, and go with it.

 

[Captain Willard]

I am going to wait to get angry until there is something to get angry about.

 

[douglasbader]

I'm just getting it all out now boyz, standard game week before gameday cleanse. Ride it out, just like all your mom's would.

 

[Verbal]

On the other side, Northern Illinois has a transfer QB who threw for over 3,500 yards at Western Carolina last year.

 

[OlePeep]

The final irony in all of this is that one of Ferentz’s favorite old saws over the years has been “if you have 2 QBs you don’t have any.” Or have none. Can’t recall precise phrasing.

 

[L. Wade Childress]

"You know, after over a year of seeing these guys we just can't make a decision. I'm sure something during a game as a 32+ point favorite will surely help us make that final decision on how to move forward."

It actually means that they both suck. Otherwise, they would just pick one. Which, again, simply means that Kirk is completely retarded when it comes to overseeing the offensive side of the ball.

 

[kmurp]

Kirk can do this at every position on the team except quarterback. For some reason, he thinks that he needs to be involved with the decision. Just let Lester pick one, and go with it.

I got the impression, probably the wrong one, the Lester actually wanted Brown to succeed as he can make all the various throws now that we have actual wide receivers. The short guy, I think, cannot. Lester wants to be able to run the entire offense and he thought that he would be able to this year as he has all the pieces.

 

[L. Wade Childress]

QB’s like Deshaun Watson, Carson Wentz, Daniel jones, and Russell Wilson get contracts worth 100’s millions of dollars as QB’s only to be cut later.

Kirk still just doesn’t quite see the importance of the position.

 

[YugoslavianMountainHound]

Game week Doug, engaged.

a little early in the AM for him to start angry drinking

 

[jquintana]

I got the impression, probably the wrong one, the Lester actually wanted Brown to succeed as he can make all the various throws now that we have actual wide receivers. The short guy, I think, cannot. Lester wants to be able to run the entire offense and he thought that he would be able to this year as he has all the pieces.

That's fine too. Just pick one. We've all lived through the "we can't make decision" scenario. It's not helpful.

 

[Monster]

As much as I like Kirk, this QB situation is all about stubbornness and ego imo. He saw the reaction from fans and media after kids day. It was a given that JH should be the starter. But, Kirk doesn't like giving fans and especially the media the feeling they have any sort of say over anything football related. I say this a lot and it's absolutely true....the coaches have access to waaaay more info than any of us. This is his way of reminding everyone of that.

 

[Hawk&Balls]

Who are we kidding. None of this will matter much, mostly because it doesn't matter who your QB is when your shitty, undersized, no talent or too young defensive tackles are getting shoved 5 yards down the field and you're getting gashed for 6-7 yards per carry over and over.

They'll just neuter hecklinski if he looks good anyways.

 

[CleteyColgate]

The University of Iowa Football program, complete with 128 direct staff employees, a $20m coaching budget, an army of analysts and specialists including the QB/OC guru for Peyton Manning and Tom Brady is the only program in FBS or FCS that has not publicly named a starting QB.

Leistikow and Dochterman talking about it this week and they both act like they clearly want to murder the staff. Point out that Kirk Ferentz was annoyed that on Kid's Day that one of the QB's dared separate themselves publicly. "You just knew that was going to happen."

No fucking shit Kirk, isn't that exactly what you WANT to happen? All of the Iowa staff acting annoyed that Hecklinski clearly outplayed Brown (who looked fucking awful) is a BAD thing. "What an asshole these two QB's are for making it so glaringly obvious which one is better in front of thousands of people! How dare they make this an easy decision for us!"

Kirk is so fucking weird sometimes. I've said it in the past, but he's like this with lesser teams they play. I think he feels bad or wrong or sick to his stomach if somehow things aren't close. Hayden in the past or a guy like Cignetti now are fucking thrilled to beat the dog fuck out of shitty teams. Hayden loved stomping in Iowa State's head by 40+. Kirk acts like he's sad when the game doesn't come down to a FG in the last 2 minutes.

Ferentz maybe knew people like you were going to overreact based on one practice and throw out juvenile terms like "peaches" to describe the other guy who had been outperforming to that point

 

[Fletch]

This is just the best. I love week 1.

 

[Monster]

I'm not nearly as worried about the defensive line as most people seem to be. Iowa doesn't expect much out of them. Just eat up blockers and protect gaps on either side and let the linebackers make all the plays.

 

[Uff Da]

I got the impression, probably the wrong one, the Lester actually wanted Brown to succeed as he can make all the various throws now that we have actual wide receivers. The short guy, I think, cannot. Lester wants to be able to run the entire offense and he thought that he would be able to this year as he has all the pieces.

I was going to state that Kirk likes Brown because he is tall and probably "a good kid" and that Hecklinski is too reckless with the ball.

It would make sense that Brown is probably better to be a QB since he isn't a midget like Hecklinski, but, he probably sucks, so that is a problem.

QB play sucked last year as well, other than Gronowski was just an extra RB, particularly in the red zone

 

[jbincr]

This is just the best. I love week 1.

Me too. Anonymous message board experts provide high quality entertainment.

 

[kmurp]

this is embarrassing for dug. hawthorne is a very good dt too

It is disappointing though that DT was a known significant position of need at the end of last season and the best they could do was to bring in two guys who haven’t, as yet, cracked the two deeps.

 

[26.2]

Me too. Anonymous message board experts provide high quality entertainment.

So do iowans dressed from head to toe in Iowa gear everywhere they go!

 

[AZmessDAWG]

I'm just getting it all out now boyz, standard game week before gameday cleanse. Ride it out, just like all your mom's would.

You’re weird.

 

[Hawk&Balls]

He's our weird

 

[jbincr]

So do iowans dressed from head to toe in Iowa gear everywhere they go!

As do men sharing steaks!

 

[KitKatApples]

The University of Iowa Football program, complete with 128 direct staff employees, a $20m coaching budget, an army of analysts and specialists including the QB/OC guru for Peyton Manning and Tom Brady is the only program in FBS or FCS that has not publicly named a starting QB.

Leistikow and Dochterman talking about it this week and they both act like they clearly want to murder the staff. Point out that Kirk Ferentz was annoyed that on Kid's Day that one of the QB's dared separate themselves publicly. "You just knew that was going to happen."

No fucking shit Kirk, isn't that exactly what you WANT to happen? All of the Iowa staff acting annoyed that Hecklinski clearly outplayed Brown (who looked fucking awful) is a BAD thing. "What an asshole these two QB's are for making it so glaringly obvious which one is better in front of thousands of people! How dare they make this an easy decision for us!"

Kirk is so fucking weird sometimes. I've said it in the past, but he's like this with lesser teams they play. I think he feels bad or wrong or sick to his stomach if somehow things aren't close. Hayden in the past or a guy like Cignetti now are fucking thrilled to beat the dog fuck out of shitty teams. Hayden loved stomping in Iowa State's head by 40+. Kirk acts like he's sad when the game doesn't come down to a FG in the last 2 minutes.

Been sayin

 

[Monster]

On the other side, Northern Illinois has a transfer QB who threw for over 3,500 yards at Western Carolina last year.

Who is also listed as an "or" with two other quarterbacks.

 

[Hawk&Balls]

And the members of HuskieLounge.com are worked up

 

[WCFHawkeye]

faggot

@wondergrape

 

[Thomas Wolsey]

I'm not nearly as worried about the defensive line as most people seem to be. Iowa doesn't expect much out of them. Just eat up blockers and protect gaps on either side and let the linebackers make all the plays.

Hawthorne made some athletic plays last year too. If he has actually taken a step they should be good against all but the 3 best teams they play.

 

[CamelTones]

I'm not nearly as worried about the defensive line as most people seem to be. Iowa doesn't expect much out of them. Just eat up blockers and protect gaps on either side and let the linebackers make all the plays.

I would tend to agree, but the drop off when last years starters went out for rest was bad. Teams we getting 5-6 yards per run against that group. They would then send the starters back in to try and hold teams to a field goal.

I hope Hubert or Gaffney end up being a Nate Bazata type, but their game reps have been pretty bad to this point.

 

[KitKatApples]

I thought Hubert played well against Vanderbilt