**2026 Iowa Basketball Offseason & Transfer Portal Thread**

Revolver

Revolver

Will Ruin Your Thread and Crush Your Dreams
Joined
Jan 4, 2011
Messages
32,696
Reaction score
-14,292
Up there for the greatest season in the history of television. May be on top of the mountain. It was perfect.
 
26.2

26.2

Vacations at the Wisconsin Dells
Joined
Aug 2, 2017
Messages
18,536
Reaction score
6,105
Revolver said:
Up there for the greatest season in the history of television. May be on top of the mountain. It was perfect.
Click to expand...
Fourth season of The Wire is the greatest season in the history of television.
That Fargo second season is pretty fucking good though. Didn't think they could top the first with Billy Bob, but they did
 
brantshawks

brantshawks

Nebrantska Fan
Joined
Aug 30, 2007
Messages
84,698
Reaction score
15,322
BBK said:
He should do a hair transplant
Click to expand...
My boss just got his done in Turkey. $2800

He said half of the people on his flight out had bandages around their heads from it. I guess it's the place to go for it.
 
Thrawn II

Thrawn II

Member
Joined
Apr 29, 2025
Messages
2,948
Reaction score
7,629
brantshawks said:
My boss just got his done in Turkey. $2800

He said half of the people on his flight out had bandages around their heads from it. I guess it's the place to go for it.
Click to expand...
I had a fascinating Turkish massage once in some dark alley in Istanbul. The guy was about 5'6", ripped, and the hairiest human I've ever seen. He wore only a small towel around his waist. He stood me up, stuck me in a shower, then marched me into a sauna.

Ten minutes later, he comes in, pulls the towel off of me, marches me to a small pool, and shoves me in it. It was a very cold plunge pool. He lifts me out, and takes me into a Turkish bath, which is a steam room with a center marble counter. He fills a basin and douses me with buckets of water, pulling the towel off of me everytime I try to cover.

Next, he puts on two loofa (sp?)mitts and has at me, proudly showing me piles of exfoliated skin particles. This is followed by buckets of water. Finally, he slams me onto the marble counter and gives me a very deep tissue massage.

I am led to the shower, and then to a quiet recovery room where he gives me a cold glass of fresh orange juice and an English newspaper.

It was incredible.
 
Pedro

Pedro

Athletic Lumberjack
Joined
Aug 28, 2007
Messages
15,112
Reaction score
19,118
I rank the "all-time" stories thusly:

1. New Orleans
2. Spartan Wife Slammer
3. Turkish Massage

Also, wasn't there one where somebody came home to find his wife getting railed and then got in a fight with the naked dude while he was sporting a rager?
 
Thomas Wolsey

Thomas Wolsey

Likes Your Post
Joined
Oct 16, 2017
Messages
29,845
Reaction score
31,117
New Orleans is right out.
The list goes
1) Turkish Massage
2) Beebs wanking it in a DC basement
3) Pierces more recent 50 shades of grey story
 
douglasbader

douglasbader

Said Tom Brady's Career Was Over in 2008
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
135,263
Reaction score
29,704
im an ally. I'm not personally LGBT or Q but im a strong ally, especially to those who r questioning. Just last week I had a young man over for dinner, a handsome young 20 yr old junior in college whom I met at the mall the night before and he had confided in me that he was questioning. I said let's see if we figure this out together and I pulled up some gay porn on my computer and we watched it together, then I said ok my friend pull down ur pants and ur underwear and let's c what we have. He did that and i saw that he was fully erect so I grabbed the lotion and I applied a big glob to his priapus and vigorously rubbed it, then I whispered in his ear "r u still questioning? U think u might b gay? R u trans? R u a lesbian? Do u want to question me?" Then I pulled down my pants and things really got hot. But the crazy part of the story is the next day this lady knocks on my door and she claims to b his mom and she's all mad and says ur at least 30 yrs older than my son and u took advantage of him, u chicken hawked him. I said lol lady I didn't chicken hawk anybody, I'm an ally, and he was questioning. But she wouldn't let it go just standing there yapping and I had enough so I punched her in the face and she goes off crying says she's gonna b back with the cops to arrest me so I yelled lol ok lady u do that, go call the cops.

Never saw her again. Lol
 
N

neshawk

Might Need to GFH
Joined
Jul 25, 2020
Messages
1,639
Reaction score
3,095
Thrawn II said:
I had a fascinating Turkish massage once in some dark alley in Istanbul. The guy was about 5'6", ripped, and the hairiest human I've ever seen. He wore only a small towel around his waist. He stood me up, stuck me in a shower, then marched me into a sauna.

Ten minutes later, he comes in, pulls the towel off of me, marches me to a small pool, and shoves me in it. It was a very cold plunge pool. He lifts me out, and takes me into a Turkish bath, which is a steam room with a center marble counter. He fills a basin and douses me with buckets of water, pulling the towel off of me everytime I try to cover.

Next, he puts on two loofa (sp?)mitts and has at me, proudly showing me piles of exfoliated skin particles. This is followed by buckets of water. Finally, he slams me onto the marble counter and gives me a very deep tissue massage.

I am led to the shower, and then to a quiet recovery room where he gives me a cold glass of fresh orange juice and an English newspaper.

It was incredible.
Click to expand...
Happy ending?
 
Orestes

Orestes

Wears Gloves When He Mows
Joined
Dec 3, 2007
Messages
9,884
Reaction score
8,165
douglasbader said:
im an ally. I'm not personally LGBT or Q but im a strong ally, especially to those who r questioning. Just last week I had a young man over for dinner, a handsome young 20 yr old junior in college whom I met at the mall the night before and he had confided in me that he was questioning. I said let's see if we figure this out together and I pulled up some gay porn on my computer and we watched it together, then I said ok my friend pull down ur pants and ur underwear and let's c what we have. He did that and i saw that he was fully erect so I grabbed the lotion and I applied a big glob to his priapus and vigorously rubbed it, then I whispered in his ear "r u still questioning? U think u might b gay? R u trans? R u a lesbian? Do u want to question me?" Then I pulled down my pants and things really got hot. But the crazy part of the story is the next day this lady knocks on my door and she claims to b his mom and she's all mad and says ur at least 30 yrs older than my son and u took advantage of him, u chicken hawked him. I said lol lady I didn't chicken hawk anybody, I'm an ally, and he was questioning. But she wouldn't let it go just standing there yapping and I had enough so I punched her in the face and she goes off crying says she's gonna b back with the cops to arrest me so I yelled lol ok lady u do that, go call the cops.

Never saw her again. Lol
Click to expand...
Picturing this being typed on a work computer in a cubicle by the guy in the picture with Howler is what makes this really funny.
 
6deuce

6deuce

Reformed Fatass
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
17,066
Reaction score
6,803
douglasbader said:
im an ally. I'm not personally LGBT or Q but im a strong ally, especially to those who r questioning. Just last week I had a young man over for dinner, a handsome young 20 yr old junior in college whom I met at the mall the night before and he had confided in me that he was questioning. I said let's see if we figure this out together and I pulled up some gay porn on my computer and we watched it together, then I said ok my friend pull down ur pants and ur underwear and let's c what we have. He did that and i saw that he was fully erect so I grabbed the lotion and I applied a big glob to his priapus and vigorously rubbed it, then I whispered in his ear "r u still questioning? U think u might b gay? R u trans? R u a lesbian? Do u want to question me?" Then I pulled down my pants and things really got hot. But the crazy part of the story is the next day this lady knocks on my door and she claims to b his mom and she's all mad and says ur at least 30 yrs older than my son and u took advantage of him, u chicken hawked him. I said lol lady I didn't chicken hawk anybody, I'm an ally, and he was questioning. But she wouldn't let it go just standing there yapping and I had enough so I punched her in the face and she goes off crying says she's gonna b back with the cops to arrest me so I yelled lol ok lady u do that, go call the cops.

Never saw her again. Lol
Click to expand...
I don't know why, but that part always cracks me up the most.
 
Fletch

Fletch

Member
Joined
Dec 30, 2013
Messages
17,093
Reaction score
12,198
StinkyMcFadden

StinkyMcFadden

She/Her
Joined
Oct 20, 2007
Messages
53,504
Reaction score
-12,245
L. Wade Childress

L. Wade Childress

Too stupid to be real
Joined
Aug 24, 2007
Messages
88,132
Reaction score
1,419
My 5 year old son wanted to name our baseball team the chicken hawks.

thankfully we were assigned the Cubs.
 
Hawk&Balls

Hawk&Balls

NOT a member
Joined
May 1, 2016
Messages
50,720
Reaction score
36,646
Fuck every good non conference game in college basketball being neutral
 
douglasbader

douglasbader

Said Tom Brady's Career Was Over in 2008
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
135,263
Reaction score
29,704
Mysterio said:
good non con home games are an endangered species
Click to expand...
Who cares. We also get 2 (or 3?) more Big Ten home games than we got in the past with an expanded and stronger Big Ten.
 
Mysterio

Mysterio

Miserable
Joined
Jun 5, 2024
Messages
1,553
Reaction score
847
douglasbader said:
Who cares. We also get 2 (or 3?) more Big Ten home games than we got in the past with an expanded and stronger Big Ten.
Click to expand...
if you cant handle a loss to a good team in early non conference you dont deserve to be in the tournament with it expanding again. duke is doing it for monetary reasons but the resulting impact of good noncon games is a benefit
 
BBK

BBK

THE GRINGOOOOO
Joined
Dec 8, 2009
Messages
99,126
Reaction score
53,944
Mysterio said:
Click to expand...
I thought the schedule came out in May last year, but I was retarded. You get some info through May and the summer, but last year the non-conference schedule came out Sept 12, while the conference schedule was released on Sept 18
 
AZmessDAWG

AZmessDAWG

Loved and Defended The Criminal Until the Bitter End
Joined
Sep 21, 2009
Messages
46,306
Reaction score
3,676
douglasbader said:
Fuck that, get the experience playing neutral site and the uplift in the win potential. The more tourney experiences you can create, the better.
Click to expand...
Fuck that. We bitch abt shitty non conference home schedules all the time.
 
AZmessDAWG

AZmessDAWG

Loved and Defended The Criminal Until the Bitter End
Joined
Sep 21, 2009
Messages
46,306
Reaction score
3,676
Get people in carver, fuck Des Moines.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top