Iowa State Football Bashing Thread

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keep in mind that twins is a deranged Iowa fan and half of CF is too stupid to realize it.
I think he’s a Clone fan who is deeply obsessed with Iowa. And has an Iowa connection or two that are legit, which makes him even more obsessed. The amount of time he spends thinking about Iowa is unhealthy.
 

brantshawks

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the amount of time I think about IOWA is unhealthy too
I've been told this as well.

Few years ago I was in Florida for a quick vacation and was introduced to a guy named Brady Boyd at a bar who was a friend of my gf's mom.

After a few minutes of me bringing him up to speed on Brody Boyd I was told I used up all of my words for the day and just drink in silence.
 

thrawn

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I've been told this as well.

Few years ago I was in Florida for a quick vacation and was introduced to a guy named Brady Boyd at a bar who was a friend of my gf's mom.

After a few minutes of me bringing him up to speed on Brody Boyd I was told I used up all of my words for the day and just drink in silence.
how many STDs did Brady give you?
 

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ivan_drago

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The pandemic has ended a lot of annual traditions, but it hasn't ended the Annual Randy Peterson Iowa State Backup QB Hype Piece presented by Sukup.

My favorite is that he excused Purdy’s shitty finish with “bum ankle,” stuff.
 

CamelTones

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I read the whole article. I'm not exactly sure what it was about or who the backups are.
 

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I read the whole article. I'm not exactly sure what it was about or who the backups are.
You can be sure they're more ready than Oklahoma State's were, though!!! I loved him quoting Tom Herman as if he interviewed him directly. Borderline plagiarism, which I guess is better than any of his original material.
 

StinkyMcFadden

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My favorite is that he excused Purdy’s shitty finish with “bum ankle,” stuff.
While saying "no excuses" in the same article.

Also, Hunter Dekkers looks like a Joel Lanning who can actually throw the ball. I am praying that Purdy goes down long enough to create a good ol' QB controversy.
 

Charles

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TCU gonna go in dry this weekend? Or did the Rona wreck them?
 
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Iowa State should be thanking whoever they pray to that they won’t ever have to expose that playdo offensive line to any of the better defensive fronts in the country.

The Big 12 has exactly zero of the top 10-15 ish defensive lines in the country this year. Looking at PFF’s top 30 NFL DL prospects...the Big 12 has exactly ONE name on that entire list.
 
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So CyTwins is doing his Iowa plays a weak schedule thing again, so I thought I would go see what the data says about this.

Site below has Final SOS for the last 17 Season. In the last 17 years, Iowa has played a tougher schedule than Iowa State 11 times. In each of those 11 seasons, Iowa State finished the season unranked, presumably lowering Iowa's SOS.

Iowa State has had a tougher schedule just 6 times in the last 17 years. 2 of the 6, Iowa finished ranked in the AP Top 25, presumably improving the Cyclones final SOS.

Avg SOS for the last 17 Seasons:
Iowa - 34th
Iowa State - 44th




I get where they're coming from. Look at the charmin soft schedule that Iowa has had for the past decade. If they're going to include crossover games in deciding the CCG, that's not a fair comparison. If you're going to have unbalanced schedules like that, you should only include divisional games in CCG selection.
Avg SOS for last 10 years:
Iowa - 37.4
ISU - 33.6


But I'm sure none of that is impacted by playing a team every year that is 51-74 over that time period
 
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Clones always like to take shots at how "soft" the bottom of the Big Ten is. So I thought it might be interesting to see how those teams stacked up over the last decade.

Last 10 years:
ISU - 51-74
IU - 49-74
Pur - 39-81
Minn - 66-61
Ill - 46-78
Mary - 50-74
Rut - 49-75
NW - 72-56


Without having even looked at how many times Iowa has played each one of those over the last decade, Iowa State is right there with the worst teams on Iowa's schedule in any given season.
 
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Pollard on the radio this AM - "Would you like us to be a Rutgers or Boston College who can't even compete in their own conference??"

Nice self awareness, Dumbfuck.
a more enterprising individual (@StinkyMcFadden) needs to start a twitter account dedicated to the all-time great Iowa State dumbfuckery moments.

I feel like we’re really cheating the rest of the college football world by not sharing what an incredible collection of dipshits they are.
 

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a more enterprising individual (@StinkyMcFadden) needs to start a twitter account dedicated to the all-time great Iowa State dumbfuckery moments.

I feel like we’re really cheating the rest of the college football world by not sharing what an incredible collection of dipshits they are.
In 2016, when Hey Guys was taking a cue from Jamie and bagging on Rutgers on Twitter, I pointed out that the last 10 years of Rutgers football would be the most successful 10 years in Iowa State history.
 
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In 2016, when Hey Guys was taking a cue from Jamie and bagging on Rutgers on Twitter, I pointed out that the last 10 years of Rutgers football would be the most successful 10 years in Iowa State history.
The most amusing part of that @MikeyJoe is that is true....and that window is just one year short of including an 11-2 season by Rutgers. Which, I would have to check...but I’m pretty sure is two more wins than Iowa State has EVER had in their 120+ year history.
 

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I really can't imagine having to sit around for 2 weeks at the beginning of a season having just gotten blown out by a low mid-major at home.

That after having undue expectations, not just this year, but perpetually.

Somehow, being and Illinois football is likely more exhilarating.
 

Jimmie Dimmick

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I really can't imagine having to sit around for 2 weeks at the beginning of a season having just gotten blown out by a low mid-major at home.

That after having undue expectations, not just this year, but perpetually.

Somehow, being and Illinois football is likely more exhilarating.
And walking into arguably the best defense in your putrid conference
 
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cloudhawk

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I really can't imagine having to sit around for 2 weeks at the beginning of a season having just gotten blown out by a low mid-major at home.

That after having undue expectations, not just this year, but perpetually.

Somehow, being and Illinois football is likely more exhilarating.
At least they played, loser
 
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Was ExplodedLemon the only person he knew who had a registered version of Microsoft Word with WordArt?
Doing more research, it looks like Exploded Lemon is the person who does all the 'merch', as @Juice would say, for cyclonefanatic.

Between he and hey guys, they're probably working with one functioning brain so it makes sense those banners look like they were designed by a 3rd grader
 

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Pollard on the radio this AM - "Would you like us to be a Rutgers or Boston College who can't even compete in their own conference??"
Coming back to this, it just reiterates that he is the weirdest fucking AD in the country. This isn't even like an OSU-Michigan thing where he's ribbing a rival. He's the AD of the worst P5 football program of all time just shitting on some random schools so his own fans can high five each other. If this dude is ever at some conference or meeting and the AD of Rutgers or BC is there, how is that not awkward as fuck?
 

newsbreaker

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Coming back to this, it just reiterates that he is the weirdest fucking AD in the country. This isn't even like a OSU-Michigan thing where he's ribbing a rival. He's the AD of the worst P5 football program of all time just shitting on some random schools so his own fans can high five each other. If this dude is ever at some conference or meeting and the AD of Rutgers or BC is there, how is that not awkward as fuck?
I don't think he has to worry about keeping his AD conference social calendar open.
 

FrodoTBaggin

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Coming back to this, it just reiterates that he is the weirdest fucking AD in the country. This isn't even like an OSU-Michigan thing where he's ribbing a rival. He's the AD of the worst P5 football program of all time just shitting on some random schools so his own fans can high five each other. If this dude is ever at some conference or meeting and the AD of Rutgers or BC is there, how is that not awkward as fuck?
what's crackalackin, homies?

 

thrawn

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Coming back to this, it just reiterates that he is the weirdest fucking AD in the country. This isn't even like an OSU-Michigan thing where he's ribbing a rival. He's the AD of the worst P5 football program of all time just shitting on some random schools so his own fans can high five each other. If this dude is ever at some conference or meeting and the AD of Rutgers or BC is there, how is that not awkward as fuck?
The weirdest thing is that he's been there for 15 years where they haven't won anything (either a conference title/major bowl/deep tournament run in a major sport or a national title in a minor sport), but he is absolutely beloved.
 
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newsbreaker

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By FAR, the biggest athletic accomplishments under his watch have been two sweet 16 appearances, and an Alamo Bowl. Next on the list is probably "a popular TV show decided to come to town, and then the team promptly stomped on their own dicks."
 

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the other weird thing is that he's been there for 15 years, they haven't won anything (either a conference title/major bowl/deep tournament run in a major sport or a national title in a minor sport), and he is absolutely beloved.
It's baffling. Not only is he beloved, they think he's some sort of prize that they keep there. "A visionary." As near as I can tell, the only truly out of the box thing you can give him credit for is giving Hoiberg the job without previous head coaching experience - and even then, as you said, the heights of that success was a good but not exceptional 5 year run that maxed out in a single Sweet 16 appearance.

If Jamie Pollard has one truly exceptional skill, it's personal promotion. The man is a goddamn genius at that.
 

thrawn

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By FAR, the biggest athletic accomplishments under his watch have been two sweet 16 appearances, and an Alamo Bowl. Next on the list is probably "a popular TV show decided to come to town, and then the team promptly stomped on their own dicks."
His biggest accomplishment is probably expanding JTS, which is definitely much more of a stadium than when he arrived, but then they struggle to fill an expanded capacity agaisnt out of state opponents.
 

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His biggest accomplishment is probably expanding JTS, which is much more of a stadium than when he arrived, they struggle to fill an expanded capacity agaisnt out of state opponents.
In terms of accomplishments, I legitimately have no idea about their financial situation - has he done a good job fundraising, or does he just get credit for being the AD during a period of TV revenue explosion?
 

FrodoTBaggin

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It's baffling. Not only is he beloved, they think he's some sort of prize that they keep there. "A visionary." As near as I can tell, the only truly out of the box thing you can give him credit for is giving Hoiberg the job without previous head coaching experience - and even then, as you said, the heights of that success was a good but not exceptional 5 year run that maxed out in a single Sweet 16 appearance.

If Jamie Pollard has one truly exceptional skill, it's personal promotion. The man is a goddamn genius at that.
For a completely delusional and retarded fan base. Sweet gig of you can get it.
 

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Just fucking read this. This is from eight years ago, he's accomplished none of this, and they still love him. This is vexing. I'm vexed.
 

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His biggest accomplishment is probably expanding JTS, which is definitely much more of a stadium than when he arrived, but then they struggle to fill an expanded capacity agaisnt out of state opponents.
He also likes to portray the huge increase in athletic budget to his own accomplishment. There isn't a P5 athletic department in the country that hasn't seen that same increase simply because of the increase in conference TV revenue.
 

newsbreaker

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In terms of accomplishments, I legitimately have no idea about their financial situation - has he done a good job fundraising, or does he just get credit for being the AD during a period of TV revenue explosion?
I think it's some of both, but they aren't expanding JTS without OU and Texas deciding to stay home. I think he's increased school fundraising, but the TV money is what matters most.
 

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Just fucking read this. This is from eight years ago, he's accomplished none of this, and they still love him. This is vexing. I'm vexed.
You aren’t really. He tells the fans that they are awesome. That is all it takes over there.
 

thrawn

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I think it's some of both, but they aren't expanding JTS without OU and Texas deciding to stay home. I think he's increased school fundraising, but the TV money is what matters most.
Iowa State sports have also definitely ridden the university wave. Until this fall with COVID, their enrollment was up over 30% from where it was 15 years ago, with the bulk of that being in-state kids who wind up in the DSM area 45 minutes to the south. Between that and the TV money, you'd have to be exceptionally bad at your job to not have revenues way up.
 
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In terms of accomplishments, I legitimately have no idea about their financial situation - has he done a good job fundraising, or does he just get credit for being the AD during a period of TV revenue explosion?
he has and hasn't. But he takes full credit for all of it
 
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