**Official Wisconsin vs. Iowa Football Thread - 6:30pm - NBC**

[Gushawk]

the live shot of my mom’s unfortunate discovery

 

[The Dad]

I guess one main difference between Gus and myself is I would have made getting that fucking thing to a garbage can, and as far away from me as possible, priority 1, 2 and 3.

 

[AZmessDAWG]

Man, I count myself as fortunate as to have not experienced a true shitting emergency since 6th grade on my 1.5 mile walk home from school. I ran out ahead from the group, so was alone when the sphincter failure finally transpired. The aftermath was concealed in a plastic Hawkeye KarmelKorn bin, which my poor mother discovered when I went away to college.

In tears.

 

[cloudhawk]

How can one forget about a KarmelKorn shitbucket in their room...jfc

 

[Gushawk]

Out of smell and sight, out of mind, I suppose

 

[nolookpass]

How can one forget about a KarmelKorn shitbucket in their room...jfc

he couldnt remember not to run over his foot with the lawnmower...

 

[hawkeyealum]

Out of smell and sight, out of mind, I suppose

For 7 years????

 

[BillyBob]

What the fuck is wrong with you people

 

[Monster]

I'd have to look up the spelling of hermetically.

 

[6deuce]

For 7 years????

That’s how long I’ve been holding out for a management position.

 

[Alan Lomax]

For 7 years????

So we’re pretending his room didn’t smell like it had a cheap plastic bucket of shit in it? Perhaps smelly kid evidence?

 

[Geese]

And I'm the weird one for tasting myself?

 

[LifelongHawk]

And I'm the weird one for tasting myself?

Yes, yes you are.

 

[Geese]

Hey at least I'm not into jenkem like Gus

 

[cloudhawk]

And I'm the weird one for tasting myself?

Well, at least we haven't been told he tasted the poo at this point

 

[KitKatApples]

At this point.

 

[Monster]

I know Gus. I doubt he tasted it.

 

[cloudhawk]

I know Gus. I doubt he tasted it.

I thought I "knew" Gus before too....

 

[TVan]

Yea.

What the fuck is wrong with you people

 

[HiG 2.0]

I’m confused why the Gus turd ended up in the KarmelKorn bucket rather than in someone’s yard, the woods, or a garbage bin. Also how do you forget about the poo pail right after filling it?

 

[Kamala]

I’m confused why the Gus turd ended up in the KarmelKorn bucket rather than in someone’s yard, the woods, or a garbage bin. Also how do you forget about the poo pail right after filling it?

Also, why was he hauling around a Hawkeye novelty snack container?

 

[Hawk&Balls]

To poop into

 

[StinkyMcFadden]

I’m confused why the Gus turd ended up in the KarmelKorn bucket rather than in someone’s yard, the woods, or a garbage bin. Also how do you forget about the poo pail right after filling it?

It's not my shit.

It's not my KarmelKorn bucket.

It's not my house.

But getting it out of there is all I can think about.

Gus was playing fast and loose with his feces.

 

[Hawk&Balls]

Doo Fast, Doo Furious

 

[Pipiyopee]

An impressive display of living in the present moment

 

[KitKatApples]

To poop into

 

[L. Wade Childress]

Gus’ parents actually found it years prior, but mistook it for a small town southeast iowa education.

 

[Herbie2]

Man, I count myself as fortunate as to have not experienced a true shitting emergency since 6th grade on my 1.5 mile walk home from school. I ran out ahead from the group, so was alone when the sphincter failure finally transpired. The aftermath was concealed in a plastic Hawkeye KarmelKorn bin, which my poor mother discovered when I went away to college.

Gus, is your mother still with us? If so, would you be willing to let someone like Brant or Monster interview her about her discovery of the Golden Turd?

 

[BluesHawk]

Shortly after I met my wife, I went on vacation with her up to northern MN to her aunt and uncle's lake property for a week. There were probably 20-25 of us in total, all family members of hers, except me. One night after everyone was good and drunk and hanging around the fire, her uncle fired up a story about shitting his pants. Everybody got a good laugh, and then his brother sitting next to him fired up his own poopy pants story. From there, it just went around the circle. Every single one of them had a pants shitting story, even the women and children. They were all hilarious and disgusting.

I was near the end of the circle, and I've never shit my pants in my life outside of being an infant, so far as I could remember. I said "I don't shit my pants" and every single one of them looked at me like I was the weirdo.

I've been pretty comfortable in my skin around all of them since that. Because in the back of my mind, I know they're all disgusting pants shitters and I'm not.

 

[Wanderer]

I’ve told this one before but when I was first dating my now wife, I dropped a post-Thanksgiving deuce in one of her family's toilets in their basement. Son of a bitch wouldn't flush down. Tried several times. Knowing no one would be down there for a while, I thought I'd let it soften for a bit. After a little bit, I saw my future MIL go down there with tongs. I went down later and my turd was gone. Many years later, the gory details surfaced. She didn't know who it was and fished it out. Still married.

 

[TVan]

lol. Still married as a finish to that story is the best part. Well done.

 

[Lee Beevers]

I am fucking thrilled to be returning to Iowa City Saturday. @halo meet up at It’s Brothers???

 

[Renegade_ofFunk]

Fuck Wisconsin.

But as a side note my father made sure he told me the importance of the “test flush” at an unknown toilet and the importance of taking emergency shits at Target and hotels.

Target is a store no self respecting man goes to under normal circumstances unless he’s there with his family or needs a bottle of ketchup or something so the can is almost always clean and has no line.

Also at hotels, most people poop in their room. So during daylight hours the public first floor restroom gets almost no action. Being a white male with a collared shirt or sweater no one questions me going into a hotel.

Due to this passed down knowledge I escaped multiple potential pants shittings as an adult.

 

[The Dad]

Due to this passed down knowledge I escaped multiple potential pants shittings as an adult.

Adult? I’m not sure a creature with such precarious control over their bowels even qualifies as human.

 

[The Dad]

I do not. The helmets are great. The sleeves are really bad.

The logo looks just like the Autotrader app on my phone.

 

[AZmessDAWG]

Gus’ parents actually found it years prior, but mistook it for a small town southeast iowa education.

swingandamiss.gif

 

[The Incredible Hawk]

The logo looks just like the Autotrader app on my phone.
View attachment 57818View attachment 57819

Very original of autotrader to copy a logo from 1909.

 

[Monster]

I am fucking thrilled to be returning to Iowa City Saturday. @halo meet up at It’s Brothers???

I wish I was going, Lee. It would be fun to walk through It's Brothers and note all the little nooks and crannies where Jogger sucked a dick.

 

[Debit One]

How can one forget about a KarmelKorn shitbucket in their room...jfc

How can someone have a KarmelKorn bucket in their room for 6+ years and never open it?

My guess is that Gus is a poo sniffer. I suspect that he was frequently opening that bucket and taking a whiff, perhaps as a part of some weird sexual gratification ritual.

Can we refer this matter to the outrageous claims court?

 

[Thomas Wolsey]

The logo looks just like the Autotrader app on my phone.
View attachment 57818View attachment 57819

Take this to the White Trash Identifiers thread

 

[KitKatApples]

OHHHHHHH SHIT! Hey @The Dad

 

[The Dad]

Take this to the White Trash Identifiers thread

Oh, so you’re the dumbfuck who buys their teenagers NEW cars??

 

[nolookpass]

Take this to the White Trash Identifiers thread

where else is he going to find an engine block to put on his porch?

 

[The Dad]

where else is he going to find an engine block to put on his porch?

Sorry East sider, we don’t decorate like that in the burbs.

 

[nolookpass]

Sorry East sider, we don’t decorate like that in the burbs.

listen you 1A hick, everything returns to it's roots. Except of course, your hairline.

 

[Thomas Wolsey]

Oh, so you’re the dumbfuck who buys their teenagers NEW cars??

I don’t have teenagers yet. I have a house full of damned toys.

 

[UnKnOwN_SeRb]

I don’t have teenagers yet. I have a house full of damned toys.

Your wife is a freak!

 

[L. Wade Childress]

swingandamiss.gif

yeah that was pretty bad

 

[Stu Beagle]

After losing 4 in a row to Bucky, Iowa has a chance Saturday to have won 4 of the last 5

 

[Thomas Wolsey]

Your wife is a freak!

Reported!!!