Has Bad Hair
- Jun 6, 2013
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My parents moved to Iowa City because my mom had an aunt and uncle who lived there. They were the biggest Hawk fans in the world, and whenever we'd go over to their house behind City High for Sunday dinner, Uncle Bob would tell me and my brother to yell "Go Hawks all the way home." We lived out by the res - past North Liberty, a good 25 minutes of shrieking. There would be oldtimer Hawks at family gatherings, and every gift I ever received from them was Hawkeye themed. Strict fundamentalists.I know it’s fashionable but I can’t shit on stink for this. You go to college for many reasons. In fact, being a hawkeye at iowa state should be rewarded. Enemy territory.
Speaking of fundamentalism, we are all familiar with the concept of excommunication, yes? When their eldest daughter Julie enrolled at Iowa State, it was - and I'm not exaggerating - the biggest scandal that ever hit the Iowa branch of my family. I'm not sure if I asked my mom if we would ever speak to her again, but I definitely remember thinking it. No one ever visited her in Ames, and no one ever spoke of where she was when she would return on holidays.
I realize all of this behavior was way over the top and in no way healthy, but I think if a lesson can be found here, it's this:
Fuck Julie. And fuck Stinky.