New OC

[BillyBob]

That may have been the dumbest thing ever posted on this message board.

 

[Thomas Wolsey]

I feel a bit better about the delay right now. There are some extenuating circumstances going on.

 

[BillyBob]

Imagine typing all that bullshit out

Just imagine

 

[BillyBob]

Sucking a guys dick to completion with swallow woulda been less gay than making that marching band post

 

[HiawathaHawk]

I feel a bit better about the delay right now. There are some extenuating circumstances going on.

If this isn’t nonsense, I’d assume it would have to be an NFL delay. But I’m not fluent in L. Wade.

 

[Harlan]

 

[Fair and Balanced]

I believe pretty much any story that involves the rank stupidity of UI hiring procedures.

Imagine, if you will, that a long-time successful college football coach suddenly and without warning resigns in the off-season. An interim coach is hired, a coach at a lower-ranking program but who is an alum and protege of the old coach. The new coach continues the success of the old coach and fully expects to be hired by his alma mater, but isn't because the hiring committee didn't review enough candidates. HOWEVER, the problem with number of candidates is discovered too late to make a permanent hire for the next season, and new coach agrees to serve as interim for one more year. Just as successful, the interim coach again expects to get hired permanently, only to get passed up for a candidate who has more experience outside the retired coach's tree.

The candidate who gets hired runs the program into the ground, creating an environment so toxic that the school has to rehire the retired coach for a season just to keep the program from entirely collapsing. The former interim coach goes on to success at another program in his alma mater's conference.

Imagine the riots that would occur if that happened at Iowa.

(The twist is that it actually did happen at Iowa, just to the marching band in the mid-90s rather than the football program, more or less exactly as described.)

(I love the UI, but that place has been run by bureaucratic dipshits for a long, long, looooooong time.)

You are the worst person that’s ever lived.

 

[Fair and Balanced]

I feel a bit better about the delay right now. There are some extenuating circumstances going on.

Lol

 

[douglasbader]

I believe pretty much any story that involves the rank stupidity of UI hiring procedures.

Imagine, if you will, that a long-time successful college football coach suddenly and without warning resigns in the off-season. An interim coach is hired, a coach at a lower-ranking program but who is an alum and protege of the old coach. The new coach continues the success of the old coach and fully expects to be hired by his alma mater, but isn't because the hiring committee didn't review enough candidates. HOWEVER, the problem with number of candidates is discovered too late to make a permanent hire for the next season, and new coach agrees to serve as interim for one more year. Just as successful, the interim coach again expects to get hired permanently, only to get passed up for a candidate who has more experience outside the retired coach's tree.

The candidate who gets hired runs the program into the ground, creating an environment so toxic that the school has to rehire the retired coach for a season just to keep the program from entirely collapsing. The former interim coach goes on to success at another program in his alma mater's conference.

Imagine the riots that would occur if that happened at Iowa.

(The twist is that it actually did happen at Iowa, just to the marching band in the mid-90s rather than the football program, more or less exactly as described.)

(I love the UI, but that place has been run by bureaucratic dipshits for a long, long, looooooong time.)

 

[Herbie2]

I cannot promise that I don’t have really fucking stupid friends.

Nor can they.

 

[Pipiyopee]

Fossilhawk is still pissed about it 30 years later, and so am I. It was a fiasco!

 

[Gushawk]

we’re getting a turd, boyz, albeit a less fetid one than Bridawg

 

[BillyBob]

we’re getting a turd, boyz, albeit a less fetid one than Bridawg

We talking about the oc or that marching band bullshit

 

[douglasbader]

At this point, if you aren't waiting for someone that played in the national championship game or someone in the NFL, not sure what the fuck you are doing. If the finalists were/are really Paul Chryst and Joe Philbin and you haven't decided, you're a total dumbfuck.

 

[Gushawk]

It’s possible he decided and was rejected

 

[shoot-the-three]

I am preparing for a big KF shit sandwich. Afraid it is going to be the internal hire that none of us want.

 

[Saul Berkley]

It’s possible he decided and was rejected

That would likely mean he only recently reached out to Chryst and offered him. Kirk should have been on this months ago. He should very easily know who has interest and doesn't. The other risk to waiting so late is then guys start getting other interest or offers. This is becoming a shit show pretty quickly.

 

[Hawkstrat]

If you are getting a no this late in the game, you have fucked up.

 

[Revolver]

If you are getting a no this late in the game, you have fucked up.

This late in the game? Sounds like they just started.

 

[BillyBob]

Can big dick beth just hire the oc?

 

[CleteyColgate]

In fairness, Kirk was busy preparing his team to win the bowl game.

 

[Saul Berkley]

Jesus, this can't be that hard. Find out who the top 3 offenses are in the MAC or Sun Belt and see which of those ones align best with your overall philosophy. Then offer them. You will likely get a young up and coming coordinator.

 

[snips]

Find out who the top 3 offenses are in the MAC or Sun Belt

or the big 12......

 

[Hawkstrat]

I feel a bit better about the delay right now. There are some extenuating circumstances going on.

You really need to find a therapist.

 

[L. Wade Childress]

Nor can they.

Dynamite drop in, gus

 

[Judge Kemp]

@fossilhawk has been given a 7 day reply ban for sharing that story about the marching band in this thread and should consider himself fortunate it is not longer.

I’d like to do anything in my (limited) power to lobby for a longer ban. I’m actually kind of a big deal if that helps my case.

 

[The Full Monte]

Some guy on Rivals said Chryst turned down the job.

Step right up, Joe.

Can we panic now? Is now the time to panic? Panic right?

 

[AZmessDAWG]

You were going to panic anyway.

 

[The Full Monte]

I am preparing for a big KF shit sandwich. Afraid it is going to be the internal hire that none of us want.

I’m sort of expecting full shit sandwich or a whoa! That’s freaking awesome! I have a hard time believing there is much chance at something in between with how this has played out

 

[The Full Monte]

You were going to panic anyway.

Your inability to discern when someone is joking is just weird

 

[AZmessDAWG]

And you’re just a douche

 

[nolookpass]

I believe pretty much any story that involves the rank stupidity of UI hiring procedures.

Imagine, if you will, that a long-time successful college football coach suddenly and without warning resigns in the off-season. An interim coach is hired, a coach at a lower-ranking program but who is an alum and protege of the old coach. The new coach continues the success of the old coach and fully expects to be hired by his alma mater, but isn't because the hiring committee didn't review enough candidates. HOWEVER, the problem with number of candidates is discovered too late to make a permanent hire for the next season, and new coach agrees to serve as interim for one more year. Just as successful, the interim coach again expects to get hired permanently, only to get passed up for a candidate who has more experience outside the retired coach's tree.

The candidate who gets hired runs the program into the ground, creating an environment so toxic that the school has to rehire the retired coach for a season just to keep the program from entirely collapsing. The former interim coach goes on to success at another program in his alma mater's conference.

Imagine the riots that would occur if that happened at Iowa.

(The twist is that it actually did happen at Iowa, just to the marching band in the mid-90s rather than the football program, more or less exactly as described.)

(I love the UI, but that place has been run by bureaucratic dipshits for a long, long, looooooong time.)

The leader of the band is tired and his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through my instrument and his song is in my soul
My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man
I'm just a living legacy to the leader of the band
I am a living legacy to the leader of the band

 

[douglasbader]

Legit question.... is there another program out there that got rid of their OC or DC that is still waiting on hiring someone? From what I can see, every single other program that made a decision to replace someone has made a hire.

 

[The Dad]

Legit question.... is there another program out there that got rid of their OC or DC that is still waiting on hiring someone? From what I can see, every single other program that made a decision to replace someone has made a hire.

How’s it going to make Brian feel if we move on too quickly?

 

[nolookpass]

Kirk wants Brian in the building till the end of his contract so he can fax his resume on the program's dime

 

[Alan Lomax]

Legit question.... is there another program out there that got rid of their OC or DC that is still waiting on hiring someone? From what I can see, every single other program that made a decision to replace someone has made a hire.

Yeah, but those other programs weren’t going to get Ryan Grubb.

 

[KitKatApples]

Well fuck

 

[L. Wade Childress]

Legit question.... is there another program out there that got rid of their OC or DC that is still waiting on hiring someone? From what I can see, every single other program that made a decision to replace someone has made a hire.

one name out there I’ve heard that got caught up in the coaching changes in Kevin Johns. Elko hired Klein, and Diaz didn’t retain him.

 

[cloudhawk]

Legit question.... is there another program out there that got rid of their OC or DC that is still waiting on hiring someone? From what I can see, every single other program that made a decision to replace someone has made a hire.

Well, not alot of competition that way- lulz

 

[Talkin' Goat]

We all know Kirk is old school and this hiring process is not going to be any different. No reason to get too worked up one way or another as it plays out. There will be plenty of time for bitching or celebrating or anything in between in the next few days. Fuck I’m getting old.

 

[cloudhawk]

Are we sure that he's not waiting until June 30th then quitting

 

[thrawn]

Legit question.... is there another program out there that got rid of their OC or DC that is still waiting on hiring someone? From what I can see, every single other program that made a decision to replace someone has made a hire.

looks like a few OCs are open but most presumably didn’t open in October

https://footballscoop.com/news/fbs-offensive-coordinator-tracker-2023-24

 

[Fletch]

I believe pretty much any story that involves the rank stupidity of UI hiring procedures.

Imagine, if you will, that a long-time successful college football coach suddenly and without warning resigns in the off-season. An interim coach is hired, a coach at a lower-ranking program but who is an alum and protege of the old coach. The new coach continues the success of the old coach and fully expects to be hired by his alma mater, but isn't because the hiring committee didn't review enough candidates. HOWEVER, the problem with number of candidates is discovered too late to make a permanent hire for the next season, and new coach agrees to serve as interim for one more year. Just as successful, the interim coach again expects to get hired permanently, only to get passed up for a candidate who has more experience outside the retired coach's tree.

The candidate who gets hired runs the program into the ground, creating an environment so toxic that the school has to rehire the retired coach for a season just to keep the program from entirely collapsing. The former interim coach goes on to success at another program in his alma mater's conference.

Imagine the riots that would occur if that happened at Iowa.

(The twist is that it actually did happen at Iowa, just to the marching band in the mid-90s rather than the football program, more or less exactly as described.)

(I love the UI, but that place has been run by bureaucratic dipshits for a long, long, looooooong time.)

One time a few years ago I was at a bar. There was a really big group of dudes there who must have come together the way they were all hollering at each other and having a good time. Might be a bachelor outing or something. After a little while they sort of dragged me into the group with some casual banter and I ended up drinking quite heavily with these people. Shot after shot, pint after pint. When the bar starts closing up they all start talking about keeping this shit going at one of the guys place and they ask me if I wanna come along. Drunk as a sailor in port I happily tag along. We reach this guys place and all start heading into the basement. Must have been just shy of twenty people. The walls of this basement are chock full of various leather outfits. Shorts, skirts, chapless pants, the whole bdsm catalog. Everyone is getting into these outfits and start lubing each other up while I'm just looking in shock and awe at what the hell is going on. Then one guy points at me and says time for some lovin' new guy. I was promptly thrown on the floor and gangbanged by a dozen and a half macho faggots in leather gear. When I woke up the next day I had cum from my hair down to my toes, and I swear you could fit a basketball up my anus.

That was the gayest thing I had ever experienced until I read your comment.

 

[Truant]

One time a few years ago I was at a bar. There was a really big group of dudes there who must have come together the way they were all hollering at each other and having a good time. Might be a bachelor outing or something. After a little while they sort of dragged me into the group with some casual banter and I ended up drinking quite heavily with these people. Shot after shot, pint after pint. When the bar starts closing up they all start talking about keeping this shit going at one of the guys place and they ask me if I wanna come along. Drunk as a sailor in port I happily tag along. We reach this guys place and all start heading into the basement. Must have been just shy of twenty people. The walls of this basement are chock full of various leather outfits. Shorts, skirts, chapless pants, the whole bdsm catalog. Everyone is getting into these outfits and start lubing each other up while I'm just looking in shock and awe at what the hell is going on. Then one guy points at me and says time for some lovin' new guy. I was promptly thrown on the floor and gangbanged by a dozen and a half macho faggots in leather gear. When I woke up the next day I had cum from my hair down to my toes, and I swear you could fit a basketball up my anus.

That was the gayest thing I had ever experienced until I read your comment.

Now that is a heartwarming story.

 

[CurdMan]

I’m sure KF would love nothing more than to hire some hot shot OC, castrate him, win 10 games with shitty offense again, then victory lap next off season about how BF was not the problem.

 

[brantshawks]

One time a few years ago I was at a bar. There was a really big group of dudes there who must have come together the way they were all hollering at each other and having a good time. Might be a bachelor outing or something. After a little while they sort of dragged me into the group with some casual banter and I ended up drinking quite heavily with these people. Shot after shot, pint after pint. When the bar starts closing up they all start talking about keeping this shit going at one of the guys place and they ask me if I wanna come along. Drunk as a sailor in port I happily tag along. We reach this guys place and all start heading into the basement. Must have been just shy of twenty people. The walls of this basement are chock full of various leather outfits. Shorts, skirts, chapless pants, the whole bdsm catalog. Everyone is getting into these outfits and start lubing each other up while I'm just looking in shock and awe at what the hell is going on. Then one guy points at me and says time for some lovin' new guy. I was promptly thrown on the floor and gangbanged by a dozen and a half macho faggots in leather gear. When I woke up the next day I had cum from my hair down to my toes, and I swear you could fit a basketball up my anus.

That was the gayest thing I had ever experienced until I read your comment.

thankyou.gif

 

[WizardHawk]

Jesus, this can't be that hard. Find out who the top 3 offenses are in the MAC or Sun Belt and see which of those ones align best with your overall philosophy. Then offer them. You will likely get a young up and coming coordinator.

I don’t think KF wants an up and coming guy. He wants a 55+ who will run what he’s told to.

 

[Hawkstrat]

one name out there I’ve heard that got caught up in the coaching changes in Kevin Johns. Elko hired Klein, and Diaz didn’t retain him.

They were the 94th ranked offense. So, yay?

 

[Gushawk]

And Duke’s offense was basically Riley Leonard’s legs. Likely a bit backyard footbally for Kirk. And not well suited to Cade and Bacon.

 

[Thomas Wolsey]

I think Johns is a significant upgrade. Possibly as good as Chryst, tbh.