**Official 2020 Iowa Hawkeye Football Offseason Thread**

[BBK]

I know a dude with a herky tattoo.

 

[Thomas Wolsey]

I know a dude with a herky tattoo.

*dummy

 

[BBK]

*dummy

Really smart guy actually.

 

[MikeyJoe]

There's something wrong with that guy's arm. Looks like he snapped his bicep.

I have a friend who did that. Looks like he's got a tennis ball under his skin.

 

[Wanderer]

It seems to be going that way.

Last year was our first "paperless" season for the Cubs. They sent us a fake opening day ticket, framed, as a collectible.

The '18 postseason was the first time they went totally paperless for anything, but you could still request a paper ticket. It cost $10 a game, you had to pick them up at the box office, and you had to pay the fee for all games if you wanted paper tickets for any game. They offered free paper tickets as collectibles after the post-season concluded, but I never saw what they looked like.

I have all our season ticket books for our seasons with tickets, and they're kind of cool, but you can't do anything with them. They all sit in their ticket boxes and collect dust. The only ticket I've ever done anything with is the World Series ticket.

What are we going to do with all the trees????

 

[SteadyEddy]

I have a friend who did that. Looks like he's got a tennis ball under his skin.

I bet you 100k this friend does not exist.

 

[SteadyEddy]

PROVE IT.

 

[The Full Monte]

There's something wrong with that guy's arm. Looks like he snapped his bicep.

I like the tat though.

Its because he's flexing the entire time. "Do it for the 'Gram"

 

[hawkimike]

 

[Hawkstrat]

How many were black?

 

[Jimmie Dimmick]

How many were black?

depends on the sport

40 people, they could have tested half the women’s rowing team

 

[BngHawk]

depends on the sport

40 people, they could have tested half the women’s rowing team

Maybe they were testing playaaaaas. That could be a pussyhound of any race. Maybe some of them just crush a lot.

 

[Hawkstrat]

Just keeping my eye out for systemic racism.

 

[6deuce]

Maybe they were testing playaaaaas. That could be a pussyhound of any race. Maybe some of them just crush a lot.

 

[KitKatApples]

Maybe they were testing playaaaaas. That could be a pussyhound of any race. Maybe some of them just crush a lot.

There's way too much going on in that sentence

 

[BngHawk]

It was bad and I should feel bad.

 

[BngHawk]

There's way too much going on in that sentence

Actually three sentences, encyclopedia Brown.

 

[KitKatApples]

Actually three sentences, encyclopedia Brown.

Sometimes I don't like you.

 

[BngHawk]

Sometimes I don't like you.

I understand.

 

[Hawk24]

depends on the sport

40 people, they could have tested half the women’s rowing team

The only athletes being tested right now are football and men's and women's basketball. More will come on line in the middle of July.

 

[Geese]

*dummy

What's a herky dummy?

 

[thrawn]

Eddy says that college athletes should understand that if they participate in sports this fall then they will probably die.

 

[hawkimike]

I understand.

 

[SteadyEddy]

I don't recall saying that at all you rascal.

 

[HerkyHopeful]

The only athletes being tested right now are football and men's and women's basketball. More will come on line in the middle of July.

Also, most of the women's rowing team are not athletes

 

[Monster]

That's disgusting.

 

[hawkimike]

That's disgusting.

Is this better?

 

[Monster]

Is this better?

Totally redeemed yourself.

 

[HerkyHopeful]

Totally redeemed yourself.

Not quite

 

[Greg Obrecht]

Dafuq is this

 

[hawkimike]

Dafuq is this

I edited it

 

[L. Wade Childress]

Several were football related. Including someone who just attended a rather important recent press conference.

 

[StinkyMcFadden]

Several were football related. Including someone who just attended a rather important recent press conference.

Does he like pineapple on his pizza?

 

[HerkyHopeful]

It would be poetic justice if one of the media members succumbed to Covid. Lots of comorbidities in that group.

 

[Thomas Wolsey]

What's a herky dummy?

A type of waterfowl, as far as I can tell.

 

[Slidewilly]

My stupid kid has been listening to this nonstop.

I'd swear I heard the term "Halo Man" near the end of the video.

 

[The Dad]

I'd swear I heard the term "Halo Man" near the end of the video.

And I swear I heard “man, oh, man, is that a hot beef?”

 

[eclone]

Preview from The Athletic (Dochterman) if you have a sub


Summary and a couple of charts:

 

[ivan_drago]

More tacky than trashy

The guy replied and said he had a kid in the UIHC NICU for 3 months.

I'm going to give him a pass on "tacky." Probably means quite a bit more to him than some message board dorks.

 

[Bob Sanders]

Preview from The Athletic (Dochterman) if you have a sub


Summary and a couple of charts:

View attachment 20252
View attachment 20253
View attachment 20254

From the comments section.

 

[BuffettHawk]

Nice troll job.

 

[Dr. Zaius]

I identify as a POC

 

[Thomas Wolsey]

I identify as a POC

Piece of chalk?

 

[Greg Obrecht]

I identify as a POS

FIFY

Me too

 

[Dr. Zaius]

Pretty old cock

 

[YugoslavianMountainHound]

I’ve got a PHD - pretty huge dick.

 

[Hawk&Balls]

I’ve got a PHD - pretty huge dick.

In your mouth

 

[CamelTones]

Ezra Miller picked Nebrantska?

 

[ClintWalker]

Ezra Miller picked Nebrantska?

That's what I was just told.

 

[KitKatApples]

Who is this?