**Official 2020 Iowa Hawkeye Football Offseason Thread**

[BngHawk]

Jade has been a great joy

 

[ivan_drago]

Jokes aside, I don’t even use Twitter, so the only things I actually see from you are whatever someone posts here and all the Jade_DFW stuff of course.

Herky is Jade.

 

[BngHawk]

Jade is several of us

 

[SteadyEddy]

Today, we are all Jade Michael.

 

[26.2]

It's like when my SIL made 2-3 excuses before finally just not coming to our wedding. My wife was a little offended until I asked her point blank if she'd have invited her in the first place had there not been the risk of fall out. Of course the answer was no.

Basically, @ivan_drago , you're like my crazy sister-in-law but with a twitter account.

I gotta ask-what excuse did your SIL use to not come to the wedding?

 

[26.2]

Herky is Jade.

No he's not.

 

[nolookpass]

No, it's because I don't need a 60+ year old loser stalking my tweets. That's why. It's because you're fucking creepy.

don't flatter yourself snowflake. Your mom told you how unique and special you are so opposing opinions twigger you.

 

[BngHawk]

Who does he think jade is?

 

[Wayne Rogers]

HOIBERG!!

 

[ivan_drago]

don't flatter yourself snowflake. Your mom told you how unique and special you are so opposing opinions twigger you.

Shut the fuck up and quit ruining yet another thread, psycho.

 

[Thomas Wolsey]

Who does he think jade is?

The Mayor of Chat City?

 

[Hawk4Life94]

God's work.

 

[joshdeets]

Is it pronounced "Micheal (like Mike)" or "Michelle"?

I like to think it's Jade (Michelle).

 

[bigazzturkeylegs]

Kinda random

 

[nolookpass]

Shut the fuck up and quit ruining yet another thread, psycho.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[hmbbone]

Kinda random

Maybe he wants to continue beating ISU.

 

[Thomas Wolsey]

Maybe he wants to continue beating ISU.

Maybe the coaches/he think highly of Aranda.

 

[Soda Popinski]

SNOWFLAKES!

 

[Debit One]

Jade is several of us

The 2020 version of TAIHawk

 

[BngHawk]

 

[BuffettHawk]

That was a great response by Jade to show he's not BF.

 

[Gushawk]

Kinda random

seems like a place that might take his dad

 

[douglasbader]

I might owe Monster or F&B or whoever said Doyle would have a job and I said he wouldn't.

Baylor is the place where Doyle could be hired immediately and nobody would blink.

 

[Stu Beagle]

Doyle will sit out a year

 

[Revolver]

If BF was Tweeting as Jade, a lot of Halo minds would be more open to him taking over after his old man steps down.

 

[douglasbader]

Doyle will sit out a year

I think he could get a waiver, but who knows.

 

[hawkeyealum]

dad is a racist? Come on down Dillon. You can start right away in Texas

 

[thrawn]

Doyle will sit out a year

thanks, stu.

 

[Herky823]

I gotta ask-what excuse did your SIL use to not come to the wedding?

Oh nothing spectacular. BIL came the day before and she didn't want to. No real reason for that, at least to my memory. I think it was that she couldn't get away from work, but she worked remotely so...

Anyway once he left they said it would be too much money in gas for her to come in the second car. If you're good at putting 2 and 2 together this is the morning before our wedding. Wife's aunt and uncle who also live in the Chicago suburbs offered to pick her up Saturday morning but she "couldn't inconvenience them like that." So my in-laws offered to pay for a flight from Chicago to Des Moines (and then later offered a cab, too), but again, she thought it wouldn't be right for her to accept money like that. At that point everyone just gave up. She obviously just didn't want to come which was perfectly fine with me, and my wife, too, once she thought about it.

My wife's other brother and his wife are great. So are her parents. I figure batting 0.6667 isn't so bad.

 

[hawkeyealum]

Oh nothing spectacular. BIL came the day before and she didn't want to. No real reason for that, at least to my memory. I think it was that she couldn't get away from work, but she worked remotely so...

Anyway once he left they said it would be too much money in gas for her to come in the second car. If you're good at putting 2 and 2 together this is the morning before our wedding. Wife's aunt and uncle who also live in the Chicago suburbs offered to pick her up Saturday morning but she "couldn't inconvenience them like that." So my in-laws offered to pay for a flight from Chicago to Des Moines (and then later offered a cab, too), but again, she thought it wouldn't be right for her to accept money like that. At that point everyone just gave up. She obviously just didn't want to come which was perfectly fine with me, and my wife, too, once she thought about it.

My wife's other brother and his wife are great. So are her parents. I figure batting 0.6667 isn't so bad.

You made an awkward pass at her once didn’t you

 

[Herky823]

You made an awkward pass at her once didn’t you

That's a negative, ghost rider.

 

[Hawk&Balls]

Is she hot?

 

[26.2]

Oh nothing spectacular. BIL came the day before and she didn't want to. No real reason for that, at least to my memory. I think it was that she couldn't get away from work, but she worked remotely so...

Anyway once he left they said it would be too much money in gas for her to come in the second car. If you're good at putting 2 and 2 together this is the morning before our wedding. Wife's aunt and uncle who also live in the Chicago suburbs offered to pick her up Saturday morning but she "couldn't inconvenience them like that." So my in-laws offered to pay for a flight from Chicago to Des Moines (and then later offered a cab, too), but again, she thought it wouldn't be right for her to accept money like that. At that point everyone just gave up. She obviously just didn't want to come which was perfectly fine with me, and my wife, too, once she thought about it.

My wife's other brother and his wife are great. So are her parents. I figure batting 0.6667 isn't so bad.

I love your stories so much Herky. Cringe-inducing and epically entertaining. It's amazing people like your SIL exist.

 

[cloudhawk]

I was kinda hoping the Doyle's would take their show to Kansas and make them into a more consistent winner, so ISU was back to being the biggest cupcake in the bakery.

 

[HerkyHopeful]

Just curious what Dillon will put as his reason for waiver request. Racist dad fired by previous school probably isn't a check box. Poor kid will live in Waco now. Good luck to him though, this situation wasn't his fault.

 

[YugoslavianMountainHound]

Just curious what Dillon will put as his reason for waiver request. Racist dad fired by previous school probably isn't a check box. Poor kid will live in Waco now. Good luck to him though, this situation wasn't his fault.

Obviously you have not seen Fixer Upper. Kitschy earthy paradise.

 

[HerkyHopeful]

Obviously you have not seen Fixer Upper. Kitschy earthy paradise.

There's a reason why it's so easy for them to find a shithole house to fix up

 

[YugoslavianMountainHound]

What a beautiful fucking cesspool the internet is.

 

[douglasbader]

It still blows my mind that more than zero people think that Jade account is actually Kirk’s son, Brian Ferentz.

 

[YugoslavianMountainHound]

It still blows my mind that more than zero people think that Jade account is actually Kirk’s son, Brian Ferentz.

or even someone else from the program.

 

[Greg Obrecht]

Sports writers aren’t exactly known for their brains. Where would Rob rank in intelligence were he to join this board? 2nd to last?

 

[Herky823]

Sports writers aren’t exactly known for their brains. Where would Rob rank in intelligence were he to join this board? 2nd last?

Rob Howe is in da house!

 

[Monster]

Sports writers aren’t exactly known for their brains. Where would Rob rank in intelligence were he to join this board? 2nd to last?

Lol behind (or in front of) who?

 

[thrawn]

Sports writers aren’t exactly known for their brains. Where would Rob rank in intelligence were he to join this board? 2nd to last?

He’s probably ahead of lug and sane.

 

[Greg Obrecht]

Lol behind (or in front of) who?

I’m not here to cause any problems, boss. But I may have blocked this idiot.

 

[Geese]

 

[Monster]

I’m not here to cause any problems, boss. But I may have blocked this idiot.

I'm just glad it's not me!

 

[Greg Obrecht]

I'm just glad it's not me!

You’re too sexy to be considered dumb.

 

[BngHawk]

I’ve got two of those in my desk right now.

 

[Hawk&Balls]

I’ve got two of those in my desk right now.

Teenage boys?