**Official 2022 Iowa Football Season Thread**

[Herky823]

Sorry that none of the other husbands have a second ticket and no one to go with.

Can you give it a rest for one freaking sec…oh sorry. Assumptions

 

[brantshawks]

Look, I don’t enjoy watching this offense, but indoor cheer competition with screaming girls and terrible music seems pretty bad.

8ish hours of sitting around for 4.5 minutes,generally.

 

[KitKatApples]

Jesus. That sounds awful

 

[Debit One]

Jesus. That sounds awful

It is.

Brant hasn’t even mentioned the two hour drive each way to get to the cheer competition.

 

[brantshawks]

It is.

Brant hasn’t even mentioned the two hour drive each way to get to the cheer competition.

Or the 6 hour drive to St Louis and at least $500 for the weekend.

 

[snips]

 

[Truant]

View attachment 40733

So does your mom.

 

[kmurp]

Look, I don’t enjoy watching this offense, but indoor cheer competition with screaming girls and terrible music seems pretty bad.

It is. Been there, done that. It’s not a sport, it’s an industry.

 

[cloudhawk]

Its a racket, but my princess loved it. Its not about me anymore, well actually, it is about me again because she's grown now.

 

[Alan Lomax]

But why do you need to be there all day? Can’t you just come and watch when it’s your kid’s turn?

 

[Debit One]

But why do you need to be there all day? Can’t you just come and watch when it’s your kid’s turn?

Yeah, if you are a SHITTY PARENT!

 

[cloudhawk]

But why do you need to be there all day? Can’t you just come and watch when it’s your kid’s turn?

They don't tell you the order until you are there. Even if you try and guess it you have a decent chance of missing it, once you park a mile away, buy a flower for your princess and stand outside the gym trying to see because they have the doors closed during performances and the place is packed with dance moms holding entire sections for their fans. It really is a racket, like I said.

 

[KitKatApples]

God just stop, I can’t take anymore

 

[Greg Obrecht]

But why do you need to be there all day? Can’t you just come and watch when it’s your kid’s turn?

Are you married, kind sir? If so, then you already know why your ass has to be there all day. If not, God bless you.

 

[cloudhawk]

God just stop, I can’t take anymore

The costumes, kit kat, my God the costumes.
And the hair

Its so precious

 

[KitKatApples]

 

[BngHawk]

The costumes, kit kat, my God the costumes.
And the hair

Put one on for us, cloudgal

 

[Alan Lomax]

Sounds like I’ve dodged a bullet. If I may be so bold I recommend noise canceling headphones and the audiobook Bomber Mafia, or Born Standing Up. I could also provide some pod if you offer interests.

 

[HiG 2.0]

I’m so glad I had two sons and zero daughters.

 

[cloudhawk]

Put one on for us, cloudgal

A danceshow?

 

[BngHawk]

A danceshow?

The costume!!!

 

[cloudhawk]

 

[thrawn]

I said...

Brr!
It's cold in here
I said there must be some Toros in the atmosphere

 

[BBK]

Ice Ice Ice

 

[Westside Ray Ray]

8ish hours of sitting around for 4.5 minutes,generally.

The cheerleading competition will be more entertaining.

 

[Stu Beagle]

Watch your kid or pay lots of money to watch Iowa football? Yeah watch your kid and maybe fuck your wife later. This is easy

 

[Dr. Zaius]

Lol at this one liner

 

[thrawn]

My wife wants to go backpacking the weekend of the OSU game. I’m extending our marriage contract.

 

[Westside Ray Ray]

My wife wants to go backpacking the weekend of the OSU game. I’m extending our marriage contract.

You could be attacked by a grizzly bear on the hike, and it would still be the right choice.

 

[nikolausp]

You could be attacked by a grizzly bear on the hike, and it would still be the right choice.

What if it's non-grizzly? Had this encounter a few weeks ago in Montana.

 

[Westside Ray Ray]

What if it's non-grizzly? Had this encounter a few weeks ago in Montana.

Share the story!

 

[Herky823]

If the game were today I wouldn’t watch. I’ll probably be dumb enough to watch it by the time two weeks go by.

 

[Hawkstrat]

I think a couple of solid weeks of practice will turn this offense around.

 

[HerkyHopeful]

What if it's non-grizzly? Had this encounter a few weeks ago in Montana.

You had an encounter with a shaved otter?

 

[OlePeep]

Kinda SIAP but isn’t the bye week when Kirk sends his O and D coordinators out for the press conferences? Could get spicy!

 

[AZmessDAWG]

One might even say TOXIC

 

[Grandma]

Kinda SIAP but isn’t the bye week when Kirk sends his O and D coordinators out for the press conferences? Could get spicy!

With Iowa's press? It won't.

 

[AZmessDAWG]

With Iowa's press? It won't.

Idk usually this is 100% correct but I’m sensing a change in the tone w some of the writers.

I know I know I’m fucking stupid.

 

[maintain242001]

Record is heading under .500 in two weeks boyz...dont think it will be above .500 again until 2023

 

[Alan Lomax]

If the game were today I wouldn’t watch. I’ll probably be dumb enough to watch it by the time two weeks go by.

Can’t wait for when I’ve talked myself into a Kirk special the Friday before. Right now I’m fairly confident OSU will run 100+ plays and score 50+ points, Fat Nate ain’t walking through that door.

 

[rodg12]

 

[cloudhawk]

Every question should be some form of

D- once again this season you are fielding one of the best Defenses in the country. It is a pleasure to watch. Not only are you playing your role valiantly toward the success of the team. You also consistently set the offense up in successful situations not to mention often scoring points for them. Could you elaborate a bit on what else you can do to help this worst in the country, inept offense?

O- once again this season you are fielding one of the worst offenses in all of college football. So much so this season it has become a laughing stock in all levels. Your offense is the butt of jokes among all of college football just taking pleasure in mocking your ineptitude. Your team has been winning games in spite of you offensively. This season, you have been especially bad in your production and has cost you some extremely winnable games. Is there anything you plan to do to differently moving forward that will change your contribution to the team. It its appearant that thru 5 weeks that execution is not improving during games.. Regardless of excuses or what is happening in practice.

 

[Kamala]

Hi coach. For the record, who is responsible for the offense, including offensive philosophy and personnel decisions?
Do you think your offense is good enough, and if not what are you going to do about it?

 

[MikeyJoe]

Hi coach. Over the years we’ve repeatedly heard you talk about the need to limit explosive plays when on defense. Based on that, can you explain why you are satisfied with an offense that routinely creates explosive plays at the lowest rates in all of college football, and how you expect to succeed with such an offense?

 

[MikeyJoe]

Follow up question coach, yes we’re all aware of the number of games you’ve won the last few years. Do you think that having an offense that was a little bit more effective would have allowed you to win slightly more games, and if not can you explain?

 

[AZmessDAWG]

Hi coach. Over the years we’ve repeatedly heard you talk about the need to limit explosive plays when on defense. Based on that, can you explain why you are satisfied with an offense that routinely creates explosive place at the lowest rates in all of college football, and how you expect to succeed with such an offense?

 

[Shpadoinkle]

Follow up question coach, yes we’re all aware of the number of games you’ve won the last few years. Do you think that having an awesome sense that was a little bit more effective would have allowed you to win slightly more games, and if not can you explain?

 

[AZmessDAWG]

JFC @MikeyJoe clean that shit up.

 

[Thomas Wolsey]

JFC @MikeyJoe clean that shit up.

@26.2 will fifh!

 

[The Tin Man]

My wife wants to go backpacking the weekend of the OSU game. I’m extending our marriage contract.

There should definitely be more scoring with that endeavor.