Hayden’s Iowa Hawkeye Update of the Week.

[dodge20]

I celebrate all his work.

 

[BBK]

I love this kid but his first two songs this year have been kinda pedestrian compared to last year.

He's going to improve. I have faith. There were some killers last year

 

[cloudhawk]

I appreciate his range but needs to get back to the bangers

 

[Pedro]

I'll give him another week. Seems like his heart just isn't in it anymore.

 

[BuffettHawk]

The fuck is wrong with this guy?

He’s related to @Fair and Balanced.

 

[Fair and Balanced]

He’s related to @Fair and Balanced.

Correct. Shitty genes.

 

[Pedro]

Correct. Shitty genes.

Bedazzled?

 

[BBK]

Wha happened?

Did Hayden retire?

 

[Gushawk]

His boycott of Fran’s product has never wavered as far as I know

 

[Fair and Balanced]

lol. My boy Hay Hay got out over his skis by putting too much effort into these then got tired and quietly quit.

I suspect we can get some quality bits moving forward but the week to week thing was just too much.

I do know this, and this is a discussion we’ve laughed about and I respect: if you are going to do this dumb shit, it is absolutely CRITICAL to commit to the bit, even to an absurd extent. The absurdity is the fun part of it.

 

[Fair and Balanced]

So I texted him and he responded with this:

“So long as I live and breathe, the HIHUOTW lives.

I just had a really bad work schedule last year. But no more!”

I’m going to try to push him to dialing it back on volume but producing a handful of monsters per year.

 

[Soda Popinski]

lol. My boy Hay Hay got out over his skis by putting too much effort into these then got tired and quietly quit.

I suspect we can get some quality bits moving forward but the week to week thing was just too much.

I do know this, and this is a discussion we’ve laughed about and I respect: if you are going to do this dumb shit, it is absolutely CRITICAL to commit to the bit, even to an absurd extent. The absurdity is the fun part of it.

He could make decent money being retarded on TikTok. Hawkeye Heaven has a million turds following.

 

[Fair and Balanced]

They are good man.

 

[BBK]

So I texted him and he responded with this:

“So long as I live and breathe, the HIHUOTW lives.

I just had a really bad work schedule last year. But no more!”

I’m going to try to push him to dialing it back on volume but producing a handful of monsters per year.

That's the way. Like 3-4 per football season when something dramatic happens

 

[Fair and Balanced]

This was a banger.

 

[Fair and Balanced]

I’ve seen the script for Week 0. There’s banger potential but as always it comes down to execution so a dud is also possible.

Anyway, Jogger saw the script well before Doug and I had access to it.

Stay tuned, it’s gonna be the best season ever!

 

[Hawk&Balls]

Week 0 was last week

 

[Pedro]

My expectations are below zero, so as long as there is an update posted...I'll be at least slightly more than disappointed, at the very least.

 

[cloudhawk]

Can't wait.gif

 

[Fair and Balanced]

Week 0 was last week

He’s calling it zero in honor of the number of women that have willingly had sex with you.

 

[Hawk&Balls]

@KitKatApples mom was willing

 

[KitKatApples]

Uncalled for. Reported

 

[Fair and Balanced]

 

[TJones3312]

WE ARE SO BACK!!!!

 

[WCFHawkeye]

"All I want to do is to punt the ball" is going to be stuck in my head all day today.

 

[Pinehawk]

That was fantastic.

 

[BBK]

That's fucking good. One of his best

 

[BngHawk]

 

[The Incredible Hawk]

That was fantastic.

wat

 

[tcondon]

I celebrate Hayden's full catalog.

 

[douglasbader]

I still have never watched a single one of these and have no idea what they are about, and I will continue to avoid and be clueless on whatever this nonsense is.

 

[Hawk&Balls]

And Doug has also never seen beebs butthole

 

[douglasbader]

And Doug has also never seen beebs butthole

Correct.

 

[cloudhawk]

I still have never watched a single one of these and have no idea what they are about, and I will continue to avoid and be clueless on whatever this nonsense is.

There HAS to be some goooold here

 

[douglasbader]

There HAS to be some goooold here

Search away. I haven't ever clicked on one of these, and outside of F&B cackling like a fat kid with an ice cream cone I have no fucking clue what they are about or why.

 

[gingerbread_man]

I still have never watched a single one of these and have no idea what they are about, and I will continue to avoid and be clueless on whatever this nonsense is.

BUT ILL TOTALLY COMMENT IN THIS THREAD.

Doug’s a fucking dork

 

[douglasbader]

BUT ILL TOTALLY COMMENT IN THIS THREAD.

Doug’s a fucking dork

You're the dork that made the "Cristobol" joke this morning, so I can't even hope to be as big of a fucking dork as you.

 

[Pedro]

Doug is always above the fray.

 

[douglasbader]

Doug is always above the fray.

With this group of couch fuckers, you better believe it!

 

[Fair and Balanced]

Search away. I haven't ever clicked on one of these, and outside of F&B cackling like a fat kid with an ice cream cone I have no fucking clue what they are about or why.

In fairness to me the cone had sprinkles

 

[Gushawk]

Best vocal performance to date. Nailed it.

 

[Fair and Balanced]

Per Hayden this week’s Update has been written and this year’s theme is “songs I’m convinced are out of my vocal range”.

 

[BBK]

Per Hayden this week’s Update has been written and this year’s theme is “songs I’m convinced are out of my vocal range”.

Well if that's the case, queue the Sister Christian

 

[Fair and Balanced]

Well if that's the case, queue the Sister Christian

Conveyed. He’s accepting other requests also. If chosen the prize is KFC two piece, no sides.

 

[Fair and Balanced]

Well if that's the case, queue the Sister Christian

Beginning of the chorus:

You’re runnin’
Why put the ball in flight?
When victory’s in sight
The punter is Mr. Right

 

[BBK]

Lolz

 

[Hawk&Balls]

*well take a knee tonight

 

[Fair and Balanced]

*well take a knee tonight

We’ve talked about me writing one. Maybe we can make it a group project.

 

[Hawk&Balls]

We’ve talked about me writing one. Maybe we can make it a group project.

 

[Gushawk]

OC Lester, oh, the time has come
And you know that I'm the only one to say, "Okay"
Why you throwin'? What's this shotgun for?
You know those boys don't want to play no more for Bri, he tried

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
Tim, you know you snap the ball too fast
And I'm a-worryin' the D won't last to save...the day
OC Lester, a good punt's no crime
Don't you run that play before our time is due, it's true
It's true, yeah