New OC

[Hawk_Kegmasters]

Start spreading the news, with Kasper and Tate help is on the way.

 

[Saul Berkley]

Start spreading the news, with Kasper and Tate help is on the way.

They all want to play for Coach Bud.

 

[douglasbader]

You want to hear the craziest batshit rumor of them all?

Kirk and his allies recently pushed that regent out that tried to come after him and regained some power. Beth wants to smooth over the relationship as well, so I shit you not, they have worked out where Brian is quietly going to be an analyst for the program. He can't work in the building, but they will set him up as a 1099 contractor to avoid any nepotism hiring issues and he and his family can remain in Iowa City and in the same schools near home.

Can't believe they are doing it, but Brian is going to be around here until Kirk is done.

 

[AZmessDAWG]

Oh my god. No fucking way.

 

[douglasbader]

Oh my god. No fucking way.

Yep. Crazy fucking shit, but Brian going to be in Iowa City for at least a few more years and will have continued influence on the program. Kirk rewards loyalty and family above everything.

 

[cloudhawk]

Couldn't use his daddy to find him an NFL landing spot, huh.

 

[douglasbader]

Couldn't use his daddy to find him an NFL landing spot, huh.

Hard to find him one when you already made a nice landing spot for him at home. Kirk got what he wanted, his son and grandkids stay close.

 

[AZmessDAWG]

Explains the Lester hire now.

 

[YugoslavianMountainHound]

they have worked out where Brian is quietly going to be an analyst for the program. He can't work in the building, but they will set him up as a 1099 contractor to avoid any nepotism hiring issues and he and his family can remain in Iowa City and in the same schools near home.

He’s the football coach equivalent of a sex offender which seems appropriate for his shock the conscience of the community bad offense the past 2.5 years.

 

[cloudhawk]

Think that's what made him start wearing the tiger hawk again?

 

[douglasbader]

He’s the football coach equivalent of a sex offender which seems appropriate for his shock the conscience of the community bad offense the past 2.5 years.

It's actually a fucking outrage when you think about it, giving him $200k as a contractor is basically nepotism 101 and someone should write in or at least try to do something about it. We all know the Iowa beat writers will look the other way.

 

[cloudhawk]

Lol, the thought of Brian working from home drawing up plays and trying to reverse scout Phil Parkers D....what a Turd, if true.

 

[YugoslavianMountainHound]

The Kirks of the world is basically why Iowa’s nepotism law exists.

 

[douglasbader]

Think that's what made him start wearing the tiger hawk again?

Yep, they worked something out and why he started wearing the logo again suddenly and stayed all the way through the bowl game. In fact, he's still in the building until end of June and actively plans on recruiting the offensive side until his actual employment contract is up.

 

[cloudhawk]

Good gig though, if you can have Daddy give it to you.

 

[Pedro]

Yep. Crazy fucking shit, but Brian going to be in Iowa City for at least a few more years and will have continued influence on the program. Kirk rewards loyalty and family above everything.

 

[YugoslavianMountainHound]

I don’t think you can 1099 your way around Iowa’s nepotism law fwiw.

In any event it sounds like a perfect job for European Underwear Model Rob Sand!!!!1!

 

[douglasbader]

The Kirks of the world is basically why Iowa’s nepotism law exists.

Lol, as if that law is even enforceable. Iowa works for Kirk, not the other way around. Anyone who thought they were going to let them butcher Kirk's oldest son is a dumbfuck. He was always going to win in the end.

 

[YugoslavianMountainHound]

You’re over the top now, douglas.

 

[douglasbader]

I don’t think you can 1099 your way around Iowa’s nepotism law fwiw.

In any event it sounds like a perfect job for European Underwear Model Rob Sand!!!!1!

I know we all mock and hate European Underwear Model Rob Sand, but someone should actually try to kick up some dust and get someone involved at the power level in the state. This whole thing is fucked.

 

[cloudhawk]

Brian sees some tendencies that need to be ironed out, Phil. Things he would expose....

 

[douglasbader]

You’re over the top now, douglas.

Am I? Who ever thought Kirk could get his kids and son-in-law $1m+ per year to begin with? That's what is over the top.

 

[Bonner]

 

[Geese]

That would explain why they couldn't get interest from any good candidates. Why would anyone legitimate come be the OC when Brian is still around lol

 

[BBK]

I know we all mock and hate European Underwear Model Rob Sand, but someone should actually try to kick up some dust and get someone involved at the power level in the state. This whole thing is fucked.

I like European Underwear Model Rob Sand

 

[douglasbader]

Explains the Lester hire now.

Before Lester got the Western Michigan job, Brian interviewed there as well. They are close.

 

[Stu Beagle]

I don’t believe you Doug, Beth won’t allow it

 

[douglasbader]

I don’t believe you Doug, Beth won’t allow it

Beth didn't even actually fire Brian, she sided with Kirk and was going to do it after the season but the University President and that Regent in question pulled the trigger.

The last thing Beth wants to do is start off her official hiring with a spat with Kirk. Having Brian as an outside contractor is a fight she was willing to let go.

Whatever we thing, it's happening so get used to it. Thankfully we won't actually see him, but he's there.

 

[YugoslavianMountainHound]

This went from “wild rumor” to for sure happening in doug world awfully fast…

 

[CleteyColgate]

Don’t you see what he’s doing?

Yes despite HALO mocking me constantly I've always understood @douglasbader to be a massive fraud

 

[Verbal]

If it’s true, then the backlash Kirk gets will be richly deserved. That’s the kind of move that the non-sports media will pick up and run with, and it could get ugly.

 

[CleteyColgate]

If it’s true,

You need to stop there.

 

[douglasbader]

This went from “wild rumor” to for sure happening in doug world awfully fast…

Meh, it's shitty enough that I wanted to slow roll it out there, but it's a done deal. Sucks that Kirk is going out like this.

 

[Dr. Zaius]

I hope Vanessa Miller w/ the CR gazette gets wind of that, if true, and tears Kirk and Co. a new one.

 

[douglasbader]

Holy fucking shit you guys are gullible fucking morons.

The last page and a half is everything that is wrong with people in 2024. Even when someone explicitly tells you they are going to literally make up lies you fuckers can't be bothered to read beyond a few sentences.

I weep for our society. Maybe we can get our medical advice on tik tok.

 

[douglasbader]

It saddens me that I have to wait until the end of basketball season to start rumors of made up or maybe not made up inside information about what Fran plans to do. Going to be a boring 6 weeks, boyz.

 

[RecreationalGynecologist]

I'm sick of this tone deaf, milquetoast bullshit from the football program. It's the little tweaks to our already strong program philosophy that they refuse to do correctly. They've wasted good defenses and otherwise potentially great teams due to their inability to attract playmakers to campus, and they've accepted that. It's an obvious blind spot in the program, always has been and it pisses me the fuck off. We need a stronger personality, and skill position coach that can recruit/relate to the players in the program. Guys like Betts and Hodge were good hires but Budmayr has the personality of a bag of milk. The WR issue begins and ends with KF

 

[douglasbader]

I'm sick of this tone deaf, milquetoast bullshit from the football program. It's the little tweaks to our already strong program philosophy that they refuse to do correctly. They've wasted good defenses and otherwise potentially great teams due to their inability to attract playmakers to campus, and they've accepted that. It's an obvious blind spot in the program, always has been and it pisses me the fuck off. We need a stronger personality, and skill position coach that can recruit/relate to the players in the program. Guys like Betts and Hodge were good hires but Budmayr has the personality of a bag of milk. The WR issue begins and ends with KF

 

[Dr. Zaius]

Reported.

 

[douglasbader]

Hey guys, CRAZY rumor here.... not only is Brian staying on as a 1099 contractor, I also hear that Kirk brought back Doyle in a contractor role as well.

It gets so much worse, and I hear that every black player will have to wear a special patch. Supposedly this is so Kirk, with his racist blood boiling, can spit at them when they pull up to the football complex with their hippity hop music.

As if all of this isn't bad enough, they will force feed the blacks as much medium rare steak at every meal that their stomachs can handle.

It's totally true.

 

[RecreationalGynecologist]

Well, I feel like being mad and am about 8 drinks in on a Monday night.

 

[douglasbader]

I hope Vanessa Miller w/ the CR gazette gets wind of that, if true, and tears Kirk and Co. a new one.

This is the gem of all gems.

 

[Dr. Zaius]

K

 

[Dr. Zaius]

Portadougie has become a stream of projectile diarrhea to the people

 

[douglasbader]

K

As we already knew, you are the King of the Morons.

 

[douglasbader]

Portadougie has become a stream of projectile diarrhea to the people

 

[Dr. Zaius]

Go butter me a popcorn, pal

 

[douglasbader]

Go butter me a popcorn, pal

 

[douglasbader]

Man, I sure hope Vanessa Miller gets wind of this!!


LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

 

[Dr. Zaius]